Ok, I went on a date

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

My lack of blog posts have been generating a bit of guilt, so I decided to tell you all about the date I had last week with a guy my friends and I refer to as "Jurassic Park." Actually, before I tell you about him I suppose I'll tell you about "Graphic Novel Guy."

Graphic Novel and I went out on Friday night. It was a blind date. But he was tall, successful (has several graphic novels published in multiple countries), kind of cute. Artistic. Lives alone. All of the basic qualities I look for. But...he is a geek.

Now let me explain something: I like nerds. I am usually criticized by certain friends and family for my choices in guys. Typically because they have to like dinosaurs, sci-fi, Star Wars, or anything else incredibly nerdy. These guys can still be good looking, funny, successful (and hopefully tall!). They have to relate to my inner-nerd so that I don't feel so....girl-in-headgear-who-gets-teased-at-school. I like nice guys. I can't think of one time that I've ever gone for the bad boy. To me, there is nothing more unattractive than a cocky bad boy. No thank you, move on, stay away.

I do not, however, like geeks. A geek is an entirely different breed of human, one that elicits thoughts of backne, mouth-breathing, and excessively sweaty hands. A geek loves Star Wars too, but wears his Star Wars t-shirt from middle school, you know, the one with holes in the sleeves and the washed out storm trooper on the front. A geek has no knowledge of hygiene, style, or acceptable social behavior. I could go on. But I'll get back to the original tale.

On Friday night I went out with a geek. One of the first things he said was "I'm not much of a drinker." Oh no, bad sign. Does this think that he won't think it's acceptable that my friend H and I drink wine all Sunday long and roll into work on Monday morning with killer hangovers? Probably not.

He was kind of cute. Glasses were a little on the big side. Outfit was actually ok. Conversation was so completely lacking. It's terribly awkward when you keep drinking the $10 glass of so-cheap-its-practically-undrinkable wine just to have something to do rather than try to fill the silence with words. The other thing, and this will be the second time I've actually witnessed this trait on a guy (once last year with "Basil Guy"), is that he kind of talked with a lisp. Not like an "every word" kind of lisp...but just a geeky lisp on some words. I don't know what that's about, but it doesn't exactly scream "I want to see you again!" Frankly, I don't think he was that into me either. After the one drink, we quickly went to the subway and said our goodbyes. See ya!

Jurassic Park was very different. We immediately had a great time. Obviously our conversation was fantastic...."what dinosaur would you be...what was your favorite as a kid...I once dressed up as a pterodactyl!....did you her about Jurassic Park 4?....I have a poster of charging dinosaurs in my room...I had a dinosaur cake!"......you get the picture. Oh, we talked about other things too...family, work, etc. We laughed, and ended up going out for dinner after drinks. All in all, it went very well. At the end of the night he said he wants to take me to the opera (huge thumbs up!) and I'm really hoping to see him again. We shall see.

Right now it's officially one week until I leave for California. It's been too long! I'm so excited to sit by the fire, de-stress, and eat tons of cookies!

Holiday feelings!

Monday, December 5, 2011

Hello blog world,
After laying in bed for almost 3 days recovering from some sort of fever/flu, I am so happy to be vertical! A friend of mine at work just reminded me that I'll be home in about two weeks and I got so excited! I haven't been home in a whole year. That's the longest I've ever been away in my life. So I'm overcome with excitement and, as my friend M puts it, "holiday feelings."

While it won't really feel like Christmas until I get home, I wanted to post a couple of things that I love!

1) OPI glitter nail polish is the shit. I got my nails painted green with gold sparkles while I was in DC and it looks great. I can't wait to do another color, like this:

I also wanted to leave you with one of my favorite Christmas songs in a capella:
(I also want to add subtext that I'm not religious, I just love this song. Also I
don't know what the heck these images are)

AND later this week my girlfriends and I are planning to go look at all the cutsey window displays! Yay!

My life is boring...

Thursday, December 1, 2011

I was on the phone with my mom last night and she asked me why I hadn't been making any blog posts recently. My excuse: nothing interesting is going on in my life at the moment.

"What about your trip to DC?"

Ok, yes, I took a trip to DC for Thanksgiving. I stayed at my aunt's house and had a lot of fun and the two of us drank a lot of wine. As a result, I have given up drinking. Until last night when I had a glass of wine. But it was only one so it doesn't count! Anyway, ya. My trip was fun, yet uneventful aside from my grandparents (who have been divorced for...40ish years?) making out after Thanksgiving dinner. Chills. No, really...chills.

Let's see what else...work is slow right now. Nothing really exciting happening there. Dating life is nonexistent. No, seriously. I did go one one date two weeks ago and I haven't heard from him since, nor do I care if I do. In a city jammed full of 8 million people and, what I have to believe, at least 3 million men, I can say with confidence that at least 98% of them are undatable. This leaves 2%. If anyone knows which city hot spots they frequent, please feel free to send me a note.

So there you have it.

My interesting tidbit for the day:

This morning my alarm went off at 6:30. My brain pleaded with me to get out of bed and work out. Just do something! Even 8 minute abs! Come on, Nygirl3!!

Nope. Nope. What did I do? Some of you would automatically assume I went straight to sleep. But no, not me. I turned on my computer and watch the two most recent episodes of American Horror Story (fantastic show by the way). You know, to get into the holiday spirits. Yep, it feels like December.

...or at least it's really difficult to get out of bed when it's pitch black outside and freezing.

November Flies...

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

At least it has this month. I've been so busy living life that I've forgotten to slow down and reflect on it a bit. What have I done this past month? Well...

I got a raise! That would definitely be my number one excitement. I know I deserved it and it made me feel much happier about working where I do (not that I have too much room to complain- it's a pretty great place!)

I've been busy doing nothing too exciting, I suppose. Working out, staying in....it gets dark at 4:30pm! I HATE that! Summer please come back!

The leaves in the park are beautiful and I've been trying to spend time outside before the cold completely overtakes the city. I can't believe how time has flied this fall. Christmas is just a short month away! I haven't been to California in a year. I can't even believe that. Next year I'm definitely going back home as often as I can. A year is too long!

Tomorrow afternoon I leave for Washington DC to spend Thanksgiving with my extended family who I haven't seen in a while. I look forward to leaving the city, though I must admit I'm worried sick about leaving little Sasha all by herself for three days. I know she'll be ok, but it's my first time away from her! Oh, what a mother goes through.... (yes, I know, I'm a crazy cat lady!)

Well that's all for now. Hope all of you are doing well, and Happy Thanksgiving!


Tuesday, November 1, 2011

So I don't feel like writing an entire post this morning. BUT I am very proud of my costume. I was Christina Aguilera (my idol) from burlesque on Friday and Saturday (whore outfit excluded!) and Lady Gaga on Monday. It took me an hour and forty-five minutes to do the make up and even though it didn't come out as well as I hoped, I'm pretty happy with the results. Check it out!

I was walking to the subway on the Upper West Side yesterday morning and I made a total of 2 children cry. I'll admit this was somewhat satisfying. I also got a lot of stares, which was semi-uncomfortable.

What should I be?

Monday, October 24, 2011

You tell me: What should I be for Halloween?


Or this....


Young fall...

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Today I had a "fall day" with a friend of mine. We had brunch, went for a long walk through the park, and ended at Filene's Basement buying cheap tights! The trees aren't quite turning yet, but they are on their way and fall is in the air. This is what we saw...

Who wears leather pants, high stilettos, and a fur coat in the middle of the park? Honestly, how was she walking around??

This man was actually singing. He was rowing the boat/gondola singing in a very opera-like voice. I can't say that if I was one of those people I would like that. Romantic in theory....weird in life.

I want to put these all over my apartment. I wonder....can you actually eat them?

Yay pumpkins!!! I want one! Except I'd never be home to see it and I really don't think that you can just set carved pumpkins outside your apartment door. Oh well. I'll just watch them in passing!


Monday, October 17, 2011

Sasha has ringworm. And now so do I. Bedbugs....ringworm....what else you got for me world! Bring it on!

.....It seems like one negative thing after the other this year....

By the way, buying a cream that says "Cures Most Jock Itch" in big bold letters on the front is kind of embarrassing. That's right, I'll be using jock itch cream. On my face.

The girl who goes on bad dates

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Last night was a birthday gathering for a good friend of mine. About twenty of her girl friends, and three of her guy friends, gathered together at a martini bar for drinks. There were the general "get to know you" conversations between different groups and everyone seemed to be having a good time. While talking to my friend's sister she suddenly stopped in the middle of the conversation and said to me, "are you the girl who goes on all the bad dates?"

I was a little shocked at this. Do I go on bad dates? I turned to the birthday girl and asked her if I was indeed the friend who she had told her sister went on all the bad dates. Yes, it turns out I was.

The conversation continued:

"I guess I am that girl."

"Give me an example."

"Well, there was the guy that talked about basil for fifteen minutes straight. The "jack-off" guy I went on a date with last year. The guy who cried on the first date."

And as I sat there recounting some of my worst dates to this stranger I realized that, yes, I was he girl who went on bad dates. How did this slip by me? How had I never known this about myself before now. So here, I list for you the basics of the bad dates I've been on:

  • The guy who cried on the first date. This was actually a blind date set up through a friend, and he seemed to be the marrying guy. He spent the night asking me all kinds of incredibly intimate questions. You know, the questions you don't ask until that night three months into a new relationship where you stay up talking for hours. "Tell me something real about you. What's your biggest regret? What's one thing you could take back?" Calm down buddy, at least let me finish my cocktail. At dinner he said, "Ok, I'm ready for you to ask me questions now." Alright....what's your biggest regret? I was simply repeating a question he had asked me. I didn't mean for him to sob into his pasta. I mean, we were at a nice place in the West Village, this was unnecessary. Anyway we left the restaurant when all of a sudden he just had to sit on this stoop on Perry Street. So we sat. And he told me about the 5 kids and house in the country he wanted. The moment I expressed my lack of wanting children, the man was off the stoop and in a cab. I was left standing alone on Perry Street, feeling much relieved if truth be told. Did I mention this was at midnight?
  • Basil. Apparently it grows in all sorts of weathers. Is easy to grow. Can be used in a lot of dishes. And...I pretty much stopped listening three minutes in. I mean how long can two people discuss an herb? Perhaps he was just nervous. Perhaps it was the third date and that's when I really knew...it just wasn't going to work out. No one loves basil that much.
  • The racist. He talked about how he used to be a server and he knew that black people gave bad tips. He spoke many times of the "Chinese dude" wearing the weird hat, and he spoke freely about many other races. And I'm pretty sure he was Armenian. God knows what he would have thought of me if I didn't happen to be white. He called me again, but I did not pick up.
  • The "I forgot my wallet" guy. No you didn't, you're just cheap. And I only had one glass of wine anyway, it wouldn't have been that expensive. Good luck with that.
  • The asshole guy. I was held up for 15 minutes! I couldn't leave work, in this industry you just have to stay late sometimes. Shouldn't you want a girl who cares about her career? How dare you call me unpunctual, I'm always on time. Jerk. Who want's to date a Long Island cop anyway?
  • The sleep-over guy. It's the second date. No you can not sleep over. I don't care what time your train leaves. No, I have no couch, and I don't know you. Note to self: Avoid Long Island guys.
  • The Jack-off guy. I won't repeat the entire story as I've already detailed it in an earlier posting. But on a first date, you should never, EVER, say anything along the lines of "what am I supposed to just jack off for the next five days?"
  • Also never assume that a girl is a lesbian just because she isn't into you.
  • Then there's the latest with the Photographer who chose the most inopportune time to tell me he's seeing other people.
I think that's enough for now. I'm getting depressed just typing these words out. I am the girl who goes on bad dates. And it's great! Know why? It gives me something to blog about.

Also while I'm in New York going on bad dates one of my best friends from home just got engaged. And I introduced them. Lovely. Happy for her. Really.

New York: Pros and Cons

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

I've recently begun my second year of living in New York. While it's been an incredible time for personal growth and full of daunting challenges, recently I find myself wondering when I will be making the move back to California. Can you still call yourself a California girl if you haven't lived there for 6 1/2 years? My home is feeling far away and I'm starting to ponder what the future holds. And with that, I give you my pros and cons about living in New York (I realize that a lot of these are personal):

  • Central Park and Riverside Park
  • Fall in New York: Colorful trees and beautiful pathways
  • Taxis anywhere at anytime; no drinking and driving
  • Cobblestone streets
  • Incredible summer moments at rooftop parties
  • There's always something new and exciting to do
  • There's always someone new and exciting to meet
  • You can wear anything and get away with it
  • Opportunity: one moment you are wondering what you will do that night, the next thing you know you're best friends with someone who can get you into the coolest places
  • Food. Bakeries. 24 Hour delivery. Any food you can think of at any time.
  • The way the sun hits the buildings at sunset
  • That goosebumpy feeling you get when you see the skyline after being away for any period of time
  • Christmas time in the city. Ice skating and Bryant Park and 5th avenue. The carts that sell roasted nuts on the street corners
  • The Hampton Jitney
  • Men in suits
  • Culture. Film festivals. Farmers' markets. Street music. Street vendors. Street performers.
  • Community gardens
  • Fireflies
  • "If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere" is probably true
  • Warm summer nights
  • Drinking is more accepted than bathing
  • The people are (mostly) real and don't carry the "fake LA vibe" with them
  • Being squished in a subway with a million other sweaty people
  • Not being able to wear your cute shoes because you have to walk everywhere
  • Winter. Specifically January-April
  • Rats. Cockroaches. Bed Bugs. Mosquitoes (surprisingly).
  • Too-tiny-to-live-in-for-this-price apartments
  • Messy room mates in small spaces
  • No ocean in which to dip your feet, no pool to lay by
  • A swim suit is not acceptable attire
  • No private yards
  • Rain. All. The. Time.
  • Pushy people. Rude people.
  • Men in New York. Dating in New York. It almost always involves alcohol. And then before you know it you've been dating someone for two months and you can't really be sure who they are
  • Tourists
  • Inability to cook for yourself because you are out every night
  • Summertime body odor (not mine)
  • Cars that drive up beside you and splash mud water on you. Although maybe that can happen other places too
  • Your neighbors can hear everything! (What? I sing and play piano here people!)
  • Inability to have time to yourself, I mean complete alone time
  • Food. Bakeries. 24 Hour delivery. Any food you can think of at any time. Hence I eat too much here.
  • Drinking is more accepted than bathing; hence I drink too much here
  • My friends are mostly in California
  • I have no car. I miss driving.
I'm sure I can think of plenty more for both categories, but it's a start!

Kindness in New York

I experienced a funny thing this morning. After I woke up at 6:30, dragged my butt out of bed, ran 3 miles (yee!), took a shower, fed the cat, and left for work I found myself barreling through the Columbus Circle subway traffic as usual.

When you first move to New York, you still act like you would if you were anywhere else; you try not to be rude, move aside for people in a rush, and keep a semi-worried look on your face. That all changes after a couple months in the city. Anyone who has ever spent significant time here knows that the only way to get where you are going is not to lose focus. You have to keep your head up and walk straight, knocking into anyone in your path, keeping the "you-stupid-tourists-better-stay-the-hell-out-of-my-way-if-you-know-what's-good-for-you" face on. Sometimes when someone elbows you extra hard, you get a little irritated. You might throw your arms up or mutter a string of four letter words under your breath. On less proud days, you might actually comment to the person how you think they are incredibly rude. I, myself, would NEVER.....

Well, this morning I was arriving to the subway and, of course, the 1 train was pulling in letting of crowds of busy commuters when some jerk ran into me really hard. I mean I-almost-dropped-my-umbrella hard, if you can imagine that. Well, I after being shoved around already a lot this morning, I just about lost it. I turned around, face red, ready to let the asshole have it, when...

"I'm so so sorry, are you ok?"

My red face soon turned pink with embarrassment at the idea that I might even dream of raising my voice to the very kind gentleman, who clearly didn't mean to run into me like that.

"No, no, sorry!" I screamed, following the river of people towards the D train.

It's funny how quickly your opinion of someone can change with a simple kind word. This is where I should interject and say, "we should all say kind things more," which is true. Also it proves that there are still considerate people in Manhattan. I was beginning to think they were disappearing. Hell, a good friend of mine who is just starting to show her baby bump even said that people have given their seats up for her on two separate occasions! Can you believe it?

On a sidenote, I've recently become completely obsessed with this website. You can track everything you eat, how much you work out, and what your goals are and it tells you where you need to be. It tracks your water intake and tells you what nutrients you need more of, or have enough of. I'm trying to start a revolution at work. So far I have 4 people signed up.

Three states in one day!

Monday, October 10, 2011

One thing that's really different about the east coast from the west is that you can drive through states. In California it would take you all day to drive to a new state, and it's seriously doubtful that you could cross another boarder. On the east coast, driving to a different state is just like driving to a new town: quick and easy. I don't think I cold ever get used to that.

On Saturday I went to stay with a good friend of
mine who lives in New Jersey (it's not as bad as it's reputation would have you believe!) and her good friend from high school. The three of us drove to a really cute town called New Hope which is in Pennsylvania! So that means I went from New York to New Jersey to Pennsylvania all in one day! Crazy.

The town was really cute and we had so much fun poking through the stores and, of course, having cocktails. Fall seems to have arrived there earlier than in the city. Leaves were falling and there were pumpkins and skulls out! I love fall. I look forward to going for walks along the Hudson and the reservoir in another couple of weeks and seeing fall in full bloom.

That evening we went back to New Jersey where D and I gave M a beautiful performance of "Big Girls Don't Cry" complete with dance moves and TV remote microphones. Really we were quite spectacular; M's abs hurt the next day from laughing so hard.

My friends' toes!

It was absolutely the perfect weekend. Three days (three!) of warm 75-80 degree weather. I went for a 6 mile walk/run this morning over to my friend's apartment (I'm cat sitting) and sat with her kitty for a while. The rest of the day? I think I'll go get a coffee and sit in Riverside and read. It's a beautiful day!


Friday, October 7, 2011

Has anyone else seen this guy walking around?

....That kind of freaks you out in the morning. Or at night. Or any of the times I've seen him. I think he sticks to the Soho/East Village areas. Thoughts?

Prince Butterfly

You know those slow mornings? The ones where it's hard to get out of bed? The ones where you wake up five times in the middle of the night and someone somewhere is watching obnoxious tv and oh my god I really shouldn't have eaten all those nachos I feel like I might throw up maybe I should go try but getting up seems like too difficult a task and please Sasha stop licking my neck?


Well I had one of these mornings. Woke up late. Nothing to wear. Cat nearly knocked the TV off the dresser. Shit I screwed up my eyeliner. Oh well, my hair will just be greasy today.

And I'm a morning person.

The 1 train stopped just as I was trying to go into the subway and I had to wait for all 5,000 people to exit before I could go in. But the D was on time and everything was good except for my heavy eyelids and messed up makeup (maybe I can start a trend? Mismatched eye makeup?). I got off the subway at the Broadway/Lafayette stop and made my way towards the office.

As I turned right onto Prince street there was an orange butterfly fluttering down the middle of the street. I kept worrying that it would get hit by a car, but there didn't seem to be many cars out this morning. I started wondering where is came from. It's October! What is it doing out here? It's not butterfly season, I don't think. Maybe it came from Washington Square Park or Tompkins Square. But if I remember correctly, there aren't many flowers in those areas. Hmm...

Either way it looked really pretty and made me stop to think for a moment. Also I was listening to Moby's "Beautiful" at the time so I'm sure that added a little more emotion to the moment. I mean, how random, and also how beautiful, to see a butterfly sauntering down the street. Maybe it was heading over to Delicatessen for brunch. Who knows?

Get over yourself dude

Thursday, October 6, 2011

So last night was the studio session with a guy I met that I'll call "Evil Brows." Evil Brows (I swear, I've never seen anything like them! They go up like a forward and backward slash but never come back down! They scare me...) and I met at the studio around 8:45pm. I really didn't want to go but I know he paid for the time and since I'm such a caring and considerate human being I went anyway.

The studio was cool and everything. We each had a mic and I had a keyboard. I was kind of excited when I saw the room- maybe this would be fun? Evil Brows played a couple of his songs for me and he is undoubtedly talented. I liked his voice and his songs a lot. But then when it was my turn I just told him I had yet to write a song by myself and I thought we were going to collaborate. He then spent the next 3 hours lecturing me about how to write a song. This was ok for the first half hour or so, but by the time the night was over I was so tired and ready to get out of there. I thought we were there to make music! If he wanted to teach he should have found someone who was interested in hearing him drone on for three hours. I'm tired! I want to go home! I didn't even get to play any of the stuff I was working on. At one point he told me "you look grumpy." Listen, buddy, I'm tired. I came here to play, not to talk. Why don't you just shut up. When 11:30 hit I was out of there so fast! I barely participated in the "we should do this again" conversation (even though it was a platonic thing) and I was in a cab before I could do the awkward goodbye hug. Good. I hate hugging strange people.

Anyway, I don't think any more "jam sessions" are in store for Evil Brows and myself. I'd rather not feel so belittled in a place I'm meant to feel creative. Next!


Wednesday, October 5, 2011

What are the chances of someone at the office noticing that I've fallen asleep at my desk, I wonder?


I am thus far having a semi-crap filled day (this is in no way due to the giant hangover caused by good decisions) and I don't think that this is going to help the "health kick" I've been on. At least I'm still sore from two days ago when I worked out. Makes me feel like I'm somewhat accomplished, even though my head is pounding.

I met up with the Photographer last night to talk through the incredibly awkward situation we found ourselves in last week. And for him to give me my ring back. So what happened? He forgot the ring and I still feel like I have no idea what's going on between us since he didn't really say....anything. Ah well. I think I'm done with that. But we did end up going to a random Portishead concert which was actually pretty fun.

And speaking of music, I am meeting up with a new friend tonight at a studio to write/record some stuff. We met here and decided to get together. I'm not sure how that's going to go today. Nausea this intense doesn't exactly make one feel very creative. But perhaps it will fade by this evening.

Note to self:

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Eating a dozen break and bake chocolate chip cookies pretty much undoes the 4 mile run you took earlier in the day. That is all.


Yay for this weekend! On Friday my room mate A and I watched Bridesmaids and ordered Indian. It was nice to stay in and chill out. Saturday morning I ran 6 miles!...well, mostly walked, but I ran so much I was sore this morning. I went to brunch at Peels with a good friend and spent the rest of the afternoon walking around. I walked through the west village, and poked in some of the shops on the upper west side. Betsey Johnson calls to me! Fortunately, I was able to resist buying anything. I also went to Trader Joes...only the second time I've been grocery shopping since I moved into my new place. I should really invest in that more!

Today I ran 4 miles; my shins hurt so bad by the end that I had a hard time walking up the stairs to my apartment! But I made a healthy lunch (first time cooking in my new place!) and vacuumed the apartment. I'm ready to start the new week and I feel like running this weekend will give me the "umf" I need to continue exercising throughout the week. We'll see!

Also, I think Sasha has a problem. She's a little lazy...she likes to take naps in front of the TV.

Poor thing is having a tough time adjusting to her new life.

This week:

Friday, September 30, 2011

This week I:

  • Fell down a flight of stairs while dropping garbage and a box of wooden wall shelves causing residents to poke their heads out their doors to ask if I was ok
  • Got attacked by my cat as I attempted to force eye-goop (this is the technical term) into her infected eye
  • Found out my ex is engaged
  • Drank (almost) an entire bottle of wine by myself
  • Ripped my favorite jeans
  • Broke a wineglass at work
  • Got rain water spilled directly onto my head by the asshole who decided to close his umbrella over my head right as we entered the subway
  • Got stuck underground and in between stations for 25 minutes (with head still wet)
  • Talked (quite pathetically) about the Photographer I've been seeing for the past couple months to my room mates and coworker friends
  • Left the Photographer's apartment (quite pathetically) when he told me he had "a sexual relationship on the side"
  • Found myself standing on a dark corner in Brooklyn at 12am on a school night wondering where the fuck I was and how the fuck I was going to get somewhere that looked vaguely familiar
  • Realized I left my ring at the photographer's place, meaning that I will undoubtedly have to see him again (unless by some miracle I can convince K to go get it for me....this might be the best (most immature) option)
Nygirl3:0 New York: 1,000,000


Thursday, September 29, 2011

My horoscope today:

"Stick to common sense. You're gaining status. An authority communicates a transition. Reassess the situation; work smarter, not harder. Find another source of revenue. Home feeds your spirit."


When your ex gets engaged

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

This does not happen everyday. And it has happened to a very good friend of mine more than once. So what is the typical reaction when your ex gets engaged?

My friend (we'll call her Christie) has had a few different reactions:

"Whatever, I don't care. I broke up with him."
"He called me last night and we talked for an hour! I wonder if she knows that..."
"I think maybe I made a huge mistake by breaking up with him."
"WTF now he's super rich AND good looking? ....Fuck."
"Maybe one day he'll realize we were meant to be."

"Christie, that was years ago, you know you're happier now."


When this happened to her yet again, her response was somewhat different:

"Oh my god, John's engaged to that crazy bitch! What the hell is he thinking?"
"She made him delete me from facebook, wtf???"
"He was the best guy I ever dated."

Needless to say, I think that no matter when you dated, and no matter how you broke up, an engagement comes as somewhat as a shock. Yes, I think I can use shock as a way to describe my entire morning.

I strolled into work at my usual time, got my coffee, ordered a breakfast sandwich. Then things got hectic: I got pulled away to help train the new receptionist, the vault guy needed help, I had to fill people in about what happened at the office last night, and before I knew it it was 11am and I hadn't checked my email yet!

I checked my work email....then my personal email....then meandered over to facebook....and OMG WTF M's ENGAGED?!?

Literally it was the first thing I saw on my news feed. I couldn't believe it! So soon? So young? What's going on? Ahhh!

Let me note that I have had this reaction to almost all of the engagements/pregnancies that pop up on facebook. With each day that I get older, someone is getting married or knocked up! And the better I know the person, the weirder it is. 24? That's too young to be married/pregnant/divorced/dead! Am I right? Girls I was once very close to in high school have thus far been the most shocking...until today.

M and I didn't have the best breakup, but I definitely don't have romantic feelings for him now. I've always been happy for him and his "new" girlfriend. She looks very sweet: short, brunette, the girl next door type...the opposite of me really, which I've often thought it funny.

But it definitely made me think. What if I hadn't broken up with him? What if that was me? What if I was still in Arizona? He's been dating her ever since we broke up but I've been pretty much...single. Does this mean I'm behind? How different would my life be?

Reflecting back to our end, he really wanted a relationship, and I just felt trapped, like I needed to get out, needed fresh air. Obviously, we wanted different things, and I think we both got what we were after. He has the fiance in Arizona he so longed for, and I have my freedom in New York. In the end, we are both happy, and I am very happy for him. But part of me is exhaling thinking, "thank god that isn't me!"

Technology: I spoke too soon

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

I suppose it's really all my fault. I mean, I was feeling super confident. They need someone to train the new receptionist, I can do that. Locating an element? Sure, I got it. Doing the Vault guy's job? Yep, doing that too. Exporting, converting, posting, laying back, making EDLs, OMFs, AAFs, you name it, I got it! Technology will not scare me as it once did. I beat the bastard! I know what I'm doing!!!

.....Until I don't. Today was one of those days.

I prove myself wrong. No matter how many notes I take, or people I ask, sometimes the answers are just not there. Take today, for example. I was laying back to tape and I had FIVE issues doing so. Every time I tried to do it, something went wrong. A tape wasn't basiced correctly. The deck was showing the image fuzzy. The sound didn't come through correctly, even though when tried again...it was fine.

In the end I suppose I can only know what I know and the more difficulties I run into, the more I'll know how to fix. And that sometimes even though you're doing something right....something will go wrong. I just have to keep telling myself....."it's not your fault its not your fault its not your fault."

On a different note, I will try to make myself feel better not by stuffing my face with the freshly baked peanut butter cookies (whose scent is wafting down the hall and over to my desk), but with an hour and a half long class of intermediate yoga. I bought a month unlimited of free yoga on groupon and I've been eager to use it. No time like the present.

Arizona in New York

Monday, September 26, 2011

So two of my girlfriends from film school came to stay with me for the weekend. One of them was chosen out of thousands to be one of the top 25 finalists in a pilot-writing contest. The winner was given a deal with Fox and $25,000! Congrats KG!

They arrived at midnight on Thursday night and we stayed up a bit talking, but I got to sleep around 1:30. On Friday after work we had dinner at Los Feliz in the Lower East Side with our friends R and J who we all knew from Arizona. Afterwards we headed over to Piano's (a cool artsy bar where Lady Gaga used to play before she became famous) for a drink. By the time midnight rolled around I was feeling pretty tired, and J had gotten angry with me because I told him to go flirt with a girl he thought was cute. He's the kind of guy you only see as a friend but he's in love with you so he always gets mad at any hint of you liking someone, or any suggestion from you about them and someone else. Did that make sense? Anyway I left early because I was tired and because of J's drama. End of story.

On Saturday M wasn't feeling very well....too much wine. And sangria. And prosecco. But after a little while we convinced ourselves to get up and go for a walk across the park. We saw a lot of interesting things...

A couple getting married....at 2pm on a Saturday afternoon on the most inconspicuous bridge in Central Park!

A pretty harpist!

The famous Central Park "Von Trapp" family who I always see singing by the fountain...

A fat dog lounging!! There was a dog festival going on.....ya...it was kind of weird...

I can't even really comment on this....elderly man with dog in tutu...eating ice cream....yaaa...

You just don't get weirder than that.....

ANYWAY, the girls left right after brunch on Sunday afternoon so it was a short trip but good to catch up, however briefly.

The Lamp Battle

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

That fucking lamp!

When I moved into my new apartment one of the old tenants left a lamp. It's a simple floor lamp with no shade, just a bulb on a metal pole, essentially. When my mom was visiting, she ordered a red lampshade as well as the little piece which attaches the lamp shade to the lamp.

Simple enough.....right?


The shade and metal piece was delivered about two weeks ago. In order to get the metal piece onto the lamp we had to take the entire thing apart. I had to unscrew all the screws, take apart the wires and pull the cord out from the metal pole in order to get the metal piece onto the pole. This was a huge hassle. My room mate and I spent an hour doing all of this until we realized that the little piece didn't even fit on the pole. FUCK! So now we have screws everywhere and a cord which absolutely WILL NOT fit back through the metal pole. I mean it. I tried snaking it through. I tied thread onto the cord and tried pulling the thread first to help get it through. I spent way too much time trying to get this piece of shit put back together and I have nothing. The result: we had to throw away the lamp pieces and now all we're left with is a bulb and a shade. The cheapest thing on the Bed Bath and Beyond website which looks like the shade would fit is $129.00!!

I so wish my dad was here to help me figure this out! I love the little lamp shade and really want to use it. But as of right now it's just sitting on my keyboard looking absolutely stupid. Maybe one day I'll get this figured out. Maybe?

The "Happy" Cab Driver

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

A few weeks ago when my mom was in town visiting we decided to go for dinner at Tolani's wine bar, one of my favorite restaurants. We both had on cute shoes so decided not to walk to 1/2 mile to the restaurant. We hailed a cab on the corner of 64th and West End and got into the cab with the happiest cab driver on earth. Literally.

He made a sharp turn onto 64th with upbeat music playing and he was grinning from ear to ear as we opened the door.

"Welcome to my cab!" We got in the car all smiling; it's very rare to have such a friendly driver.

"In my cab we are about peace and love and being happy! No unhappy cab drivers here. You must always be happy. Always smile. Always be positive. No negativity here. You are young and beautiful and happy...."

Our cabbie rattled away while bumping Beyonce's "Crazy in Love" and swerving around corners.

After 5 minutes in the happy cab, we were ready to get out. Yes, he was a happy cab driver...but a little too happy for our taste!

Back to my life

Friday, September 16, 2011

This summer has been incredible. Incredibly hot. Incredibly stressful. Incredibly changing. I've learned an incredible amount.

I'm so happy to finally be getting back to my life. I have a home. Not a dump apartment where I live in constant fear of bedbugs, roaches, and waterbugs. No disrespect from my room mate. No issues with a bad landlord or incompetent super. It's so refreshing to sleep soundly in a soft, warm bed. To get out of the shower and enjoy being in my room watching a movie with Sasha in an environment that is clean and bug free! I like coming home and my new room mates are so nice and I'm really enjoying them. What's better is that I have my privacy back! The location is great. The building is great. It's great!

I've just asked for a raise at work. I know I more than deserve it, and even though I know I won't get as much as I want, I know I'll be happy with any increase in salary. I've learned so much. I feel like I'm constantly trying to cram information in my head. I'm doing tutorials for After Effects and Avid around the clock and I'm always taking notes and asking questions. Will I ever get it? Yes, it just takes time. I've come so far from where I was a year ago and I've learned so much about technology and this industry. I feel really fortunate to be working here.

Things are finally settling down and a lot of the moving/bedbug stress is melting off of my shoulders. Even though I sometimes still wake up and search my sheets, or check for any possible unpaid bills, I know I'm doing alright. I know I'll be alright.

I was walking to work this morning. It really feels like the first day of fall. The sun was shining and the air was crisp. It was like breathing in a fresh, new air, different from the summer. I was wearing all black and had my black sunglasses on. I walked past the backside of Lincoln Center where they have had fashion shows running everyday. I watched the models come and go through the stage doors, and all of the fashion interns running around like crazy- very glamorous. Even though I've had the summer from hell, and there were days I thought I just really couldn't get through it, I'm so happy I'm here and doing it.

I started thinking about all of the things that I've accomplished, and all of the things that I've been through recently. At that moment I decided it was all worth it, because I'm here doing what I always told myself I would be doing, what I always knew I would be doing. And those bad things that happened have just lead to better things. I'm on an upward climb and I can see the top of the mountain even though I don't know what's on the other side.

Last night the office threw a surprise 50th birthday party for the owner and we all had so much fun. Karaoke and a lot of alcohol! The owner gave a very emotional speech that left most of the girls at the office crying. I really respect him and I'm so happy I'm working here and not for a corporation.

Tonight I'm going on a 6th date with a guy K set me up with a couple months ago. I like him a lot, he's creative and funny, and very nice. I'm not sure we want the same things though I think it's too soon to tell.

A couple of my college friends are coming to visit this month and I'm looking forward to seeing them. Fall in New York is such a beautiful time. It feels like this season is bringing happiness with it. Funny that the past two summers have been so difficult but yet summer is my favorite season. I'll keep you updated...

The Landlord From Hell!

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

I'm going to fill you in on some nasty things. Our ex landlord is the biggest asshole that ever walked the planet. Here's why:

Last week, I called to let him and the super know that I would be dropping off my keys, but that K would still be moving out until September 1st. I wrote my name and address down on a piece of paper, put it and my keys in a plastic bag, and dropped them under my super's door.

The next day, when K went to move the second half of her things, she found the apartment completely empty. He had THROWN AWAY all of her belongings! Her bed, shoes, clothes, food, athletic gear, everything. She called me in tears. How dare he do that to her! I'm appalled. I told her to go straight to small claims but she said she was too busy and too lazy. Oh well then. I hope she's able to get some redemption out of him.

Then, the second straw. Today I emailed the landlord to give him my new address so that he could send me the security. He responded back saying that I owed him rent through December! I went through my past emails, found the email he sent us stating that we could vacate early, and wrote him back saying that if he was planning on pursuing this I would take him to small claims. That shut him up. He apologized for the misunderstanding. Haha...sure...a misunderstanding.

Anyway, on a happier note, my mom was here with me this weekend and we FINALLY got the new apartment set up so that it is livable! I'm so excited to live in a new home that really feels like a home, not a prison sentence. I got a battery for my camera so I'll post pictures of my neighborhood soon!

All is much better now than it was a month ago, and I'm so excited to start this new chapter in my life.

Dear Charlie,

Thursday, August 25, 2011

I'll never forget the first night we spent together. I was laying comfortably in my bed watching Keeping up with the Kardashians when I saw you for the first time. You scrambled across my floor so fast I thought that maybe I had imagined you, yet I knew in my heart you were there with me. You kept the shoes in my closet company, letting me know that they would always be looked out for. You ran across my kitchen floor, likely just making sure all food crumbs were disposed of.

When you disappeared for weeks, and sometimes months, I wondered if you would ever come back. But the droppings I found under my bed told me that you were there, watching me, the entire time.

You taught me that wearing Hunter boots and cleaning gloves at the same time while holding a can of raid would not make you leave me. Nor would the boric acid, or the mouse traps I laid for you. All the time, energy, and money I spent on you went to waste, it seems, but I know that you will develop a relationship with the next tenant.

Don't worry that I'll forget you. Whenever I walk barefoot to the bathroom at night, I know you'll cross my mind. And anytime I see a shadow or sudden movement out of the corner of my eye, I'll wonder if it's you. My family will remember you always, as well, as you and my sister developed a lovely bond when watching The Glee Project this past summer.

I wish you luck in the future. I know you'll find someone you love even more than me. Please understand that I can't bring myself to leave you my new address.


Becoming "ungreen"

I'm green.

Not queasy, but inexperienced. From my first day off of the reception desk until now I have learned so so much about this company and the programs they use and how this industry works. But I still feel so frustrated with myself that I'm so far behind.

I've started assisting an editor at work who works only on Avid. This is a problem for me since I have 5 years of Final Cut experience but know nothing whatsoever about Avid. In the past 2 weeks of assisting her, I've had to use Avid, After Effects, Photoshop, and Illustrator. How many of these do I know? ....none. Well, now I do know the basics of Avid and I know enough about After Effects that I can make a super with an alpha channel, which is good, but I can't help but feel so far behind. I had friends in college who knew these programs, why why WHY didn't I try to pick them up then?

My good friend at work, M, says "no one knows everything right away. I used to go home crying because I thought I would never learn this." That makes me feel better. For some reason programs like these have always been really difficult for me to learn. Ironic that I chose an industry which primarily revolves around them. I know I'll get there. For now all I can do is watch tutorials and practice. Nothing makes you learn faster than doing and this past week I've had to make some revisions which I found very challenging. But I'm learning!

The learning can't come fast enough, let me tell you. Hopefully once I get past my first year I'll stop making mistakes and start moving faster. Hopefully?

It's a girl!

Monday, August 22, 2011

So I've moved! I am now residing in a much better bug-free apartment. There are boxes everywhere and it's hard to walk across the living room....but at least the hard part is over!

Last night I slept soundly in a clean bed with new sheets, a mattress pad, and my comforter which I have not had in almost a month. I took my shower, got cozy in my bed with a glass of wine, and went to bed early. It was fantastic. Although I did dream that I found a bed bug. Finally I can go to sleep without my room mate in my bed, fear, or the use of medication!

And, in other news, I'm getting a kitty! The new building allows cats so of course I asked both of my room mates first thing if they would be ok with me getting one. They both were and I went straight to look at the cats at the nearest shelter. It was hard. I could easily take them all! In the bottom left cage there was a little gray cat with specks of gold throughout her long fur. She reminded me a bit of Sara so I suppose that's why I was drawn to her. She purred when I held her and licked my fingers when I put her back in her cage. She is a year old and was rescued from a hoarder. Her name is Pandora, but I think she looks like a Sasha. She is so beautiful with big green eyes and looks just like a little princess. I thought for a while that I might go see all the other kitties I could at other shelters, but I know I would just fall in love with all of them. Something about "Sasha" struck me so I put in an application for her and am taking her home!

I'm so excited to have a cat again, and I hope she likes to cuddle! I'm not sure exactly what day I'm getting her, but I imagine sometime in the next week. I'll post pictures as soon as I get her!

Drinking from the bottle...

Sunday, August 21, 2011

I sat there. Room empty but for some dirty pink sheets on a bed, a dresser, vanity, and a clothing rack. Ok, ok and a TV. I was watching Burlesque (you KNOW it's a fantastic film) drinking cheap Cabernet straight from the bottle. A high class moment.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Saturday was hell.
Woke up at 6:45 and fast-walked up to my new apartment. Arrive just in time to meet the two guys from Sleepy's at 7:10. Thank god I woke up on time! They were there to deliver a new box-spring my mom had ordered for me; the bed bug expert had recommended I throw my old one out. Let them in the apartment, put the box-spring in my room and got out. Went for a coffee and got a little reading in before I had to meet my new room mates back at the new apartment to sign the lease and pay September's rent. At about 10:15am we signed the lease. Went to the bank to get a bank-certified check (since apparently personal checks aren't worthy...makes sense since I'm pretty sure my check would have bounced...) but the bank was closed. Ugh. Went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond to get some new, non-blood-stained sheets (stained from the bed bugs....not my period....my sisters will laugh at that one), and went back to the office to tell them that I had no money for them. Not a big deal, give them the money on Monday. Go to my new apartment, cut the plastic off the box -spring to use on my current mattress. Walk back to my current shit hole of a living situation. Pack up boxes. Run out of boxes. Run out of paper towels. Run out of bubble wrap. Feel completely overwhelmed like "OMFG what am I doing here how can I do this all by myself my life is a joke." More boxes and bubble wrap arrive that mom ordered for me. Pack those boxes. Try and pretend that I can fit everything I own into cardboard boxes. Lay down on bed with feeling of accomplishment. Realize that in my closet is a bag of coats that I had sitting on bed when I had bed bugs. Take coats, 2 duffel bags, and two pillows to cleaners. Dry them for 30 minutes. Buy bottle of wine. Go back to cleaners. Pretend I can carry two giant heavy bags of double-bagged clothing back to my shitty apartment. Realize during this journey that I just bought a bottle of wine yet have no glasses or wine opener. Swear out loud. Drop bags. Get to apartment, find out my wine has a twist top (!!!!!). Take apart my bed, vanity, night stand, and dresser. Vacuum extensively. Spray down with all-natural bed bug spray. Pack for a few more minutes before giving in, opening my bottle, taking a giant swig, and calling my mom to order me take-out since I have no internet. Sit back, watch Sex and the City on my dirty bed, drink straight from bottle. Relax. Cannot take shower due to the fact that I have packed everything but decide it's ok since I'm throwing these sheets out anyway. Eat Thai food. Pass out.

Sunday was hell.
Wake up at 6:30. Throw out sheets. Maneuver bed-bug infested box-spring mattress down 40 steps and onto the street. Decide that it would be best if neighbors did not know it was mine and drag/push it down sidewalk (hence ripping bed-bug cover, rendering it useless) until I reach light-pole away from apartment. Abandon disgusting box-spring. Pack everything leftover into computer bag. Go to Coffee Pot to get coffee and breakfast and use ATM for cash-only movers. Closed. Go to Amish Market for coffee and croissant. Go to Coffee Pot to use ATM. ATM has $100 maximum withdrawal. Curse. Go home. Finish coffee. Movers arrive. They are nice...jam everything into disgusting van and go to new place. Move in very fast. Go back to old place. Find that K has, again, left door wide open even though she is not there. Say silent thanks that I am no longer living with her. Discover my grandmother's ring on my vanity that I know was not there before. It is actually my sister's ring currently and she has been searching desperately for it. It is Victorian, very old, very dear to us. Curse Kristen for stealing it from her for 2 months, but decide not to say anything because, really, what's it going to do? Run up and down stairs. Decide that I will have dropped 10 pounds and 2 pant sizes in one day. Ass is firm as a muscle-builder's bicep. Say fuck you and flip off old apartment. Go back to new place. Finish moving in. Withdraw $300 from my dwindling account. Give to movers. Go back to new place. Set up bed, unpack 7 boxes. Try and put furniture in places it won't be in new roommates' way. Decide I am hungry. Go to Trader Joe's. Discover there is no wine at that location. Find wine store on way back to new apartment. Buy bottle of Concannon Pinot Noir. Am excited that I have found bottle of Concannon- first in the city. Go home. Watch True Blood. Open bottle of wine. Drink out of glass from old apartment that I find in box with shampoo and conditioner. Feel somewhat accomplished.

Moving day: Over.

Unpacking....entire next week.

Oh ya. I can do this.

The Move: A Prequel

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Moving with bed bugs. Or should I say, without bed bugs. Is this even possible?

I don't know. But you can bet your ass I'm trying my hardest to accomplish it!

I spent Monday and Tuesday hauling the majority of my laundry over to the laundry place a few blocks away. I put everything (including my dry-cleaning) in the dryers for 36 minutes. This only cost my $1.50 a cycle, thank god, as I am currently broke due to the fact that I had to pay August rent at my current apartment, prorated August rent at my new apartment, $150 credit check fee, deposit on my new apartment, AND September rent. Exhale. That's a lot of money for someone who makes just enough to not be considered poverty.

So I have embarked on my master "moving without bed bugs" plan. It goes as follows:

Step 1: All this week, get as much out as possible. Take all high-risk items (curtains, all clothing, towels, etc.) to the laundromat at put in dryer on high for 36 minutes, ensuring the buggies are gone. Double bag in plastic garbage bags and duct tape closed. No bugs in! Throw out rug, and all unnecessary pillows. It's just stuff. Even though it's my grandfather's stuff. *Pang of guilt* It's just stuff. Repeat. It's just stuff.

Step 2: Steal boxes from work and bring them home. Store AWAY from bedroom and use duct tape to tape all corners and both open sides completely shut. Spray EVERYTHING with bed bug spray (environmental safe, I might ad) before inserting items into boxes. Keep AWAY from the bedroom.

Step 2.5: M was nice enough to drive me home from work yesterday and help me bring my 9 bags of clothing and bedding to my new place. She likes it and says she can't believe I've been living in this hell hole. Hey, me neither.

Step 3: The day before the move: vacuum like it's the plague. Vacuum everything and anything. All furniture, floorboards, the mattress, everything! Promptly through away vacuum bag. Use the Shark to steam EVERYTHING. Furniture, the mattress, everything. Promptly get rid of towel used to shark. Use bed bug spray and drench everything I own in it. So what if I smell like vinegar? Do this to each individual shelf, drawer, and bangle until I'm SURE they are not there.

Step 4: The morning of: Throw out sheets. Throw out box-spring. Repeat spraying process. And, finally, GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE!

This has become my personal action plan, and all that I can think about. I will beat them I will I will!

Changing Tides

Thursday, August 11, 2011

One thing I learned the hard way in college (an probably one of the more important lessons I learned) is that if you aren't happy you need to make a change. And this change cannot be made by anyone but you. You can ask your friends for advice all you want, but eventually you will just become the person to avoid. It's like when someone is overweight and constantly complaining, but they don't work out and eat lots of potato chips and cupcakes. Or something.

I wasn't happy with my living situation so, when the opportunity presented itself to get out, I took it. I was feeling stagnant at work so I worked my ass off, talked to the boss, and got a promotion. I'm currently in the process of becoming a first assistant, so I guess I'm kind of in the middle of getting another sort of "promotion."

Sometimes it's easy for me to get down on myself, especially when everything seems to go to shit at the same time. But sometimes I have to tell myself something my mom told me once, "this too shall pass."

After every winter is a summer, and the harsher the winter the more beautiful the summer becomes. Every challenge is just a lesson to be learned in life. If you can handle this, you can handle that. If I handled that, then this shouldn't be such a problem.

Anyway, I'm getting sidetracked. All I know is that in the next few weeks I'm moving to a new an improved apartment, and I seem to be making a leap in the workplace. The feelings that I had just a few weeks ago are gradually subsiding.

Spring has arrived.

M&Ms: The Battle

Monday, August 8, 2011

One of the benefits of working in post production is that there is a lot of free food. Free lunch everyday, free dinner if you work overtime, and free snacks.

One of the downsides of working in post production is that there is a lot of free food. Unhealthy, fatty, sugary, loaded-with-high fructose corn syrup- kinda food. While I'm not one to crave the salty snacks available (cheez-its, potato chips, and chex mix do nothing for me) I do so badly crave sugar. Specifically the jar of M&Ms that tempt me with each passing.

The jar itself is see-through, allowing one to see it's contents perfectly displayed, like a magical swirling rainbow of chocolaty delight! From within their glass prison, the tiny drops call to me, "please eat me! I'm so tasty! You Will know stress no more once you've had a handful!"

This jar is also equipped with a lid. I swear no matter where I am in the building I can hear this lid being lifted, a kind reminder that they are there waiting for me.

I like to have them at 3pm. Just a few hours after lunch. I wait for the clock to hit 3 and I know, that part of the day has come!

I eat them with tea. English or black with a drop of milk, preferably. My mouth is warm and the chocolates melt faster- the best thing ever! I'm very particular with my M&Ms, as everyone at the office knows. I like to divide them into their colors- blue and green are my favorite. I then line them into triangles by color, with all of the m's facing the right way. One by one, I eat them down until I have equal amounts of all of them. At this point, I eat one of each color, evenly, until they are all gone. So satisfying.

What isn't so satisfying is that the jar is always there, and once I have a few, I always, without a doubt, want more. There is no lock. The jar doesn't require quarters, nor does it dispense in small amounts. It's all up to me to exercise self control. You can guess how well that goes.

About a month ago, I somehow quit the habit. I stood staring at them- the glittering, delicious bastards, but chose their neighbors, the nuts, instead. For four weeks I avoided their pleading gazes, until they gave up on me altogether and my cravings for them were no longer there. I was feeling very proud.

But then, a relapse. Last week I was so stressed out with the bed bugs, apartment hunting, and work worries, that I completely caved. I said to myself, "you're having an awful week. AND it's your birthday week. Go ahead, have some."

I quickly finished off the last of the plain m&ms by the end of the week. No!! My addiction is back! Everything I had worked towards-gone!

This morning I wasn't going to have any. Then I had 5. But I plan to put a stop to this! I'm eating nuts and drinking tea and downing water to avoid them. I will perservere....right?

Words of encouragement appreciated.

The Birthday Blog

Saturday, August 6, 2011

A friend of mine, and fellow Leo, recently made a very interesting blog posting and I've decided to copy her. After all of the shit that's gone down in the past month or so, it couldn't hurt to take a step back and look at 24 crazy things that have happened in the last year.

1. Got my first industry paycheck for freelance editing.
2. Worked 17 hour days at an internship and as a server, sometimes not getting home until 4am.
3. The job fell through, so I quit my serving job and traveled around Scotland for a month.
4. Got hired as reception at a post house- hope revived!
5. Moved to a new apartment in New York...in the snow.
6. Got promoted to junior assistant after 3 months at reception.
7. Learned how to dress like an adult- thanks mom!
8. Learned how to battle, and become less afraid of, cockroaches.
9. Learned how to accept, and come to live with, Charlie, the waterbug aka "toe-biter." Seriously, google toe-biter.
10. Made amazing life-long friendships with my coworkers.
11. Learned how to patch in the machine room, convert all kinds of files, capture dailies, and assist editors, among other things.
12. Seen my first New York snow and thought it was beautiful.
13. Walked through tiny pathways in New York snow and thought it was awful.
14. Lost my childhood dog, Gracie.
15. Spent a day reading in the fall leaves of central park.
16. Found my favorite lounge in New York.
17. Learned how to live with someone opposite of you.
18. Learned how to ask for what I want both in life and in the workplace.
19. Been on many, many bad first (and last) dates.
20. Broke up with and made up with my best friend.
21. Discovered/battled bed bugs!
22. Perused craigslist like mad to find a new place.
23. Cried. A lot.
24. Found an awesome apartment that I can't wait to move into which will save me money and is in a better location.

If I can do all of this in one year (not to mention everything I've done in the past year and a half), I think I'm going to be ok.

I never expected moving to the city to be so hard. I always knew it was what I wanted, but I just thought I'd get here and everything would work itself out. I suppose it has, it's just taking so much longer than I'd like.

I hope that 24 will be better than 23. As amazing as 23 was, I'm really ready to feel settled! I'm ready for a period of calm. I wonder what next year's list will bring. 25?? Gahh!

From Rock Bottom to Cloud 9

Friday, August 5, 2011


After feeling like my world was going to end, and that I needed to move back to California, my life has turned around.

With everything that's been going on (bed bugs, roommate issues, boy problems, frustrations at work: I'll delve into this later), I was feeling like giving up. It was like everything that would go wrong in my life did, including the guy I was dating who, it turns out, wasn't really looking for any kind of relationship, just sex- surprise surprise. I mean, can things get much worse?

After a roach crawls over your nearly-bare sandled foot just before a giant rat dashes out from behind a smelly trash bag in front of you and then you must go sleep in a bed full of bugs who bite you while you sleep, your clean, comfortable, beautiful, spacious home in California starts to sound pretty good. After all, my family is there, my friends from college, and most of my high school friends too.

"That would be giving up," Mom says.

Ya, ya.

I began the dreaded craigslist search on Tuesday. Emailed a bunch of people at various locations. Heard back from almost none except for the "just go to this website to find your credit score" fakers.

But then, yesterday, I made an appointment to see an apartment on the Upper West Side. My old stomping grounds! She was so nice! We have so much in common and the apartment is fantastic. Gym and laundry in the building, with a cute courtyard and a 24 hour desk to sign for packages and such. A lot of students from Julliard live there since it's right next to Lincoln Center.

I was wowed. I told her right then that I wanted it and I was ready to put down whatever money they needed. The room is big and comes with a closet! A real closet, oh boy!

She said she had some other people to see but she would let me know this weekend. Lucky me, she emailed me today and told me I got it! YES!!!

I'll be living within my means, in a great place, AND save money on a gym and laundry. Score!

I'm moving on the 15th of August! I couldn't be happier. For the first time in a while I'm starting to feel really good about what I'm doing. I think this is a place that I could consider a home; a place I will want to stay for a while, rather than just 6 months.

Now....moving day. It's going to be long and hard. Up and down the stairs, lots of packing. And, for the first time I'll be doing it all by myself. But I think it will be worth it.


Thursday, August 4, 2011

I never thought it could happen to me!

After catsitting on the Lower East Side for two weeks and finding myself bite free, I was sure those nasty mosquitoes who had been biting me were retired for the summer. This may be true, since it's been a while since I've had a mosquito bite. But the first night I spent back in my own bed, I knew I was being bit. I was itching and scratching everywhere, and I couldn't force myself to sleep.

Finally, at 2am, I threw my covers off and turned on the light. And what did I find tucked in the corner of my sheets? A tick sized bedbug! I quickly killed it with a paper towel only to find that it was filled with my blood.

Well, there was no way I was sleeping now. I sat on my computer for the next 2 1/2 hours researching bedbugs. Gross! I'm so clean! How did I get them? From the cruise? From the building? Should I go to work the next day? How can I get rid of them? Ugh!! Why did this have to happen on my birthday week????

The next day I successfully left a message on my landlord's phone after being hung up on three times. I was finally able to talk to someone in the office who sent over an exterminator, meaning I had to miss a big chunk of my workday. He told me that I had a minor case, and not to worry about the majority of my clothes, though I did have to bag up everything in the bins under my bed. He did find one and it's eggs living in my box springs. I've never seen anyone spray so much...extermination chemical! He COVERED my apartment. Of course, I told him that even if he needed to spray my silverware it was fine with me, just get them out!

Well, I put bed bug encasings on my mattress and boxspring, and took my bedding to the dry cleaners. When K came home we did the same to her room. Unlike me, her bed is made with wooden slats, which we can't cover, so she's been sleeping in my bed with me.

This whole experience has brought us back together. We were able to talk through everything and I definitely feel like we're healing. We're both fighting a war against the same devil!

K actually went around asking the other tenants if they have experienced this problem. Turns out, this building has had bed bugs off and on for months, even though K and I signed a paper with the landlord stating they had no knowledge of bedbugs. We found our out!

We called the landlord's office and complained immensely! K was able to get him to tell us that we didn't have to stay and that we could likely get our security back if we wrote him a letter. You bet we're writing him a letter- a very strongly worded one!

So now we're left with this: we're both moving, separately from each other. I hope to be out of here as soon as possible and into my new place. It's just going to be rough to hire movers and pack up all this stuff, not to mention continuing with weekly exterminations until we know the bedbugs are gone for sure. I've had no bites for the past three nights, and I'm feeling very good about our situation now.

So please, craigslist posters, respond to my emails! I need to move. And please don't charge me more in rent than I can afford. Thanks.


Thursday, July 28, 2011

Over the past month, I have begun composing several different posts. One about my recent vacation and family visit. One about New York supers and how, in reality, they aren't all that great. One about struggles at work. One about the incredible heat wave we've been having. One about the cat I'm currently cat-sitting. There are many good things to say, but I just haven't really felt as though I've been able to say them.

Sometimes, all great thoughts get pushed aside for one all-consuming idea which is impossible to shake. For the past three weeks, I have had a situation which has caused a road block in my mind. No traffic is getting through, no thought properly formed or digested because of this.

I will spare the details out of respect for K. The dreaded "room mate issues" have come up again. The kind that so many people warn you about but that you don't truly believe. They tell you never to live with your friends because it can ruin your friendship. I fear that is what is happening to me and K.


We're different. That's it. I'm neat, she's messy. I'm introverted, she's extroverted. I'm a homebody, she goes out. I like TV, she says it "erodes the brain" or something like that. We've had minor clashes before, but this time we had a wreck so bad that I've been wondering if we can ever recover from it. Angry words were spoken on both sides. We're fed up with one another. She can't understand why I am the way she is and I can't fathom how she lives the way she does. Ultimately, I think we're both right and wrong for certain things.

Last week we came to a head. Over the internet. Stupid. Anyway, she said what she needed to say, and I didn't get to say what I needed to say. I'm wondering if she'll even hear it, or if she cares. I was pretty convinced that day that our relationship was over. I'm not like K. I don't have 15 or 20 best friends. I have 2. Maybe 3. And these are people I've known for many years and who I care very deeply for. K is one of them. Losing her would be a real blow for me. So, rather than say what I really felt, I apologized and told her I loved her. Because I do. And I'd rather forgo my "apartment happiness" than lose her friendship. Damned if I do, damned if I don't.

I went to the apartment I'm house-sitting for two weeks (thankfully I didn't have to go home) and thought. And thought. What's important to me? Which would I rather sacrifice: my friendship, or my comfort inside my home? Should I move? Can I break the lease? Can I find a sublet? A place to live? A good room mate? Movers? I cried myself to sleep.

I am still unresolved on these points. K and I have made up, in that we are talking and acting as friends, but I have a "meeting" with her next week to try and confess some of my thoughts to her. I hope she's receptive. I hope she knows I'm not coming from a place of anger, but of hurt. Of confusion. Of desperation.

I don't think petty differences are any reason to end a friendship of 8 years. I hope we can find some common ground and begin to pick up the pieces from this war. Maybe it isn't even a war to her. Perhaps this is something that's going on inside my own head. I just know that this has been an incredibly trying time, one that I won't soon forget. But more than anything, this has been a lesson learned. I am not good at standing up for myself. I really need to try and do it more. And I can't get to a point again where I feel as though I have no choice but to back down.

Supers in New York

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

When I first moved into my apartment on the Upper West Side, I had a doorman and a super who I knew by name and would often chat with when I ran into him. He was very considerate of K and I and we tipped him accordingly.

Then I moved to Hell's Kitchen, and I learned what a real New York super is like when you don't live in a luxury building.

To start, my landlord lives on 180th street, and I've never met him, as he owns several buildings in New York and doesn't seem to care about the conditions that people live in, which was made evident by the condition of my apartment when I moved in.

Before moving in, I called my super and made an appointment with him to go over what needed to be done before we moved in. Unfortunately, I had to work late and missed that appointment, but K was able to go. She said he was really nice and that she thought he would take care of everything we asked him to. For the most part he did and we assumed there would be no problems with him. We were wrong.

When our refrigerator broke and we had no cold food, it took him three weeks to finally answer my call. He told me a repair guy had fixed it, though it was clear that no one had been in the apartment. I finally had to leave an irate message on the landlord's machine to get the super to call me back. I have since used this approach on several occasions.

My most recent blunder with my super regards my air conditioning. My parents had ordered an AC unit for me and it was set to arrive during the workweek and there was no way I was going to be able to be home for it's arrival. Up until this point it had been in the 90s the entire week and my apartment was stifling. I slept with the windows open, and even though I had screens, I was getting eaten by several mosquitoes a night. I was down to two options: sleep in an uncomfortably overheated apartment while mosquitoes buzz around my ear or sleep in an dangerously overheated apartment with no bugs. It was a lose-lose. Literally, I was sleeping naked with damp washcloths and taking cold showers at 2am just to be able to fall asleep. Needless to say, I was ready to get my AC!

It was scheduled to be delivered during the workweek and there was no way I would be able to sign for it. I tried to have it delivered to my office, though Sears couldn't figure out how to do that. But that's a ranting story for another day.

Thankfully, the AC arrived and my super signed for it, so I knew the AC was in the building. Unfortunately, my super has a history of dodging my calls, which he did for a week when I desperately needed my AC! Let me repeat: my AC was in the building, yet I had to go a week without it. I can't even begin to describe my frustration with this man, who I have never even met (he sends his "minions" to do his bidding). Finally, after my 3rd call, I was able to reach him. He told me his wife would answer the door to their basement apartment and I could get my AC!

His wife didn't answer. And he didn't answer his phone after that. Thankfully, the next day, she did answer the door and I got my AC!!! Did I mention that this box was 70 pounds? No? I asked K to help me carry it up the stairs, but she said the gym was going to close and she really needed to leave. Go figure. Did I mention I also had a fever?

This box was joyous fun to carry up the stairs. I got about 1/3 the way up before taking a breather. I was sweating like crazy,panting like a dog, and still had two floors to go! But, right at that moment, a neighbor of mine was making his way up the stairs, when he picked up my box, heaved it onto his shoulder, and walked up the stairs like it was nothing! I couldn't believe it! I'd been saved!

...So much for a super, eh?

Like food?

I love good food! Although, I'm not so much into cooking. If you are, check out this great blog by a fellow New York City gal who is not only an excellent chef, but a very talented photographer. Try out one of her recipes or read about her tasty adventures abroad!

Behold the Metatron

Smells and the City

Monday, June 13, 2011

Summer in the city: the reason I moved to New York.

It feels like I, along with millions of other New Yorkers, waited all winter for summer and it's finally here! But with summer comes all of the things you forget about the warmer months during the winter. For example:

You're walking down a lovely tree and brownstone-lined block on the Upper West Side enjoying a warm afternoon. Perhaps you've purchased an iced coffee and are on your way to the park to sit on a bench with a good book. You're all set for a perfect afternoon when, suddenly, something lands on you-your head, your shoulder, your face! An AC unit from some window above had leaked gross AC water on you! You don't want to admit that the water drop actually felt kind of good in the heat because you feel totally dirty now that this scum water has landed on you. But, there's nothing to be done but continue to the park like nothing happened at all.

Garbage is always disgusting. It piles up on the streets and you have no choice but to walk by it. I live by a high school that has three feet of garbage piled up every morning. Some might argue that this is worse in the winter because sometimes the snow prevents it from being picked up for days, but I think it's much more disgusting in the summer. The heat causes it to rot and I have to hold my breath while I walk past it. The problem is that this garbage is from a building which is under construction so the scaffolding leaves you with limited areas in which to walk and passing people cause you to walk slower so it's nearly impossible to hold your breath the entire time, leaving you with no choice but to inhale the fumes. I always feel so refreshed on my way to the gym on Saturdays because the garbage has been cleared away then.

I love dogs and I'm happy to be living in a city which loves dogs as well. I do not, however, love the way dag urine smells in the hot sun. Everywhere you walk in the city you are stepping over dog pee and the heat causes the smell to amplify significantly. Even worse than the stagnant stench are the hot breezes which blow the fumes in your direction and it seems as though there's no escape!

Perhaps the deadliest of all city stenches is that of B.O. It's particularly bad in crowded areas where tourists linger. Even though I was at one point fascinated by the city (and I still am, I suppose) I don't feel the need to walk in slow zigzags and gawk at everything. This is what holds up sidewalk traffic. It's like the streets of New York are in constant rush hour and all of the stores are traffic accidents. What happens on the freeway where there are accidents? Rubbernecking. Tourists are extreme rubberneckers! It's especially bad when you are in a hurry to get somewhere and someone just stops right in front of you, causing you to run into them, and then they look all offended because they aren't from around here and don't understand that bumping into strangers is an everyday occurrence on the streets of New York. So imagine this: you've just gotten off of work and you're running late to meet a friend downtown. It's hot outside and you're walking down Broadway in Soho, a prime tourist location. You're moving pretty fast until, somehow, you find yourself stuck behind three or four groups of tourists stopping to take pictures, or looking in store windows. No matter how hard you try you can't seem to finagle your way through the masses. But then it hits you: that awful and gag-inducing scent of body odor and your eyes are drawn to the homeless-looking man two people ahead of you. Try as you might, you can't get around them! And you're going to pass out on the sidewalk unless you take another breath but if you do you might pass out from the smell alone! On several occasions I've just had to make a b-line for the street and cross my fingers that I don't get hit by a taxi (which has happened to a friend of mine).

This same example also applies to second hand smoke and being stuck behind annoying smokers.

A Twilight Zone...

Sunday, June 5, 2011

At first glance my apartment seems to be pretty average. I mean, aside from having the sink and shower jammed in a hallway separate from the "toilet room," three different kinds of "hard wood" floors, and no closets to speak of, the apartment is New York normal. At least, I'm assuming.

But lately I've been noticing more and more strange occurrences which are enough to leave you afraid to be alone at night. I'll begin with the less threatening.

For starters, my apartment is not quiet. My room faces a roof top and there are no people to walk by or cars honking outside. But there are strange noises the apartment itself makes. I don't know what it is, but every so often there is a vibrating coming from the toilet room. For those of you who don't know, this is just a tiny room and a toilet. That's it. And it vibrates. It's like some machine somewhere in the building turns on and it vibrates my toilet.

Also, there's my fridge. It rings a bell. It's not like it knows when dinner is ready or anything, it just does it on its own accord. It sounds sort of like a cow bell ringing for five or ten seconds and then it stops. I don't have any idea what that's about. Oh hey! As I sit here writing this it just rang again.

These noises are odd, but I'm used to them now and they don't bother me.

It is only in the past few weeks that really bizarre things have started to happen. I've slept with my window cracked open pretty much since I moved into this apartment, but lately weird events have been taking place.

About a month or so ago I heard a screaming outside of my window. At first I thought it was nothing, this is New York, but when it happened again I had my hand on my phone in case I wanted to call the police. It was a woman, but she was screaming like she was really pissed off about something. This was at about 12:30am. I haven't heard it since.

Three times I've been woken at really odd hours: 2am, 1:30am, 3am, from someone somewhere singing. Sometimes it sounds like a ballad being sung alongside some music playing. Other times its just someone softly singing somewhere. I can't tell if it's a guy or a girl, but they need to cut it out. Or else it's just the ghost who lives on the roof across my window.

The most bizarre occurrence: The water splash. It was around 10:30pm on a Saturday night when I first heard it. Someone was dumping something outside of their window and it was landing on my fire escape! Then I heard someone coughing and I thought, "eaw! Someone's totally throwing up!" I grabbed K to come and listen, but by the time she got into my room, it had stopped. Now, this didn't happen all at once. It was like whoever was dumping liquid out was continually filling up a bucket. I must have heard five or six different splats. Stranger than this, a few weeks later I woke to the sound again! But this time it was a week night and it was 2am in the morning! What the heck are they doing?! I have yet to figure it out.

When I woke the next morning there was a baby blanket hanging on my fire escape. I don't know if it was dropped there or put there by someone, but it was really creepy. Three days later it was gone. I'm pretty worried about having my apartment broken into here; I know four people who have had burglaries in New York. And my window doesn't lock. So you can imagine that I'm a little spooked by this night time activity that seems to resonate right outside my window.

On top of this, the neighbors in the room right above me are incredible noisy all night long. It sounds like they are rolling bowling balls across their floor. K has never heard a thing. I'm not sure if this is because she can sleep through anything, or just has really bad ears.

Too Old For the Hamptons?

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Freshman year of college: a time to experiment, drink everything in sight, dance like a madman/woman, and party till dawn.

Hampton Bays: A place to experiment, drink everything in sight, dance like a madman/woman, and party till....Monday.

Some might call me a bore, a loser, a homebody, or just an "80 year old woman" (to which I am often referred, but the Hamptons are simply not a place for me. At least I'll say, Hampton Bays is not a place for me. My friend refers to this area as "fratastic" and I have to agree with her. She warned me the last time I went and this time has proved to be no different.

It's not that I didn't have a good time. Fun is what you make of it. I really did enjoy myself. Almost everyone in the house is very kind, and I especially like the guys; it is rare to find such considerate and funny human beings.

It started out ok. There was an ominous, thick fog which covered everything, bringing the temperature down, much to my dismay. We sat on the beach for a while before going back to the house (which will be shared by over 20 people this summer). Being the first weekend, it was clean, which made me very happy. I don't like residing in dirty spaces.

I knew that these guys were late partiers, so I took a 3 hour nap to prepare. After waking up I showered and got ready. It was about 8pm when I finally went down to join the crowd. Nothing really started to get going until 10pm. Before I knew it I was surrounded with beer pong, flip cup, and a newer "dance" flip cup. I don't enjoy drinking games. I'm not a big fan of beer. I'm especially not a big fan of binge drinking mass amounts of beer. I was speaking to a girl who had a share in the house who was explaining to me why she enjoyed drinking games. She said, "Beers are hard to drink so I like drinking games because it enables me to drink 3 or 4 beers in an hour without realizing it." Wait, you want to drink 3 or 4 beers an hour? Don't you feel bloated and disgusting? I clutched my absolute soda and stayed away from the crazy beer-guzzling which surrounded me.

12pm rolled around and everyone started calling cabs. At 12:30pm people started piling into cabs. At this point people are pretty drunk. Beer has been spilled, girls have argued with each other, and bruises have collected on those who have drunkenly fallen over. In the back of a cab a girl was giving a guy a hand job (ironically, this was the same guy she had slept with the night before. Did I mention they had just met that night?).

Ten minutes later, we arrived at the bar. The line was wrapped around the building and hardly moving. I had to pee pretty bad but the porta-potties were backed up and please, I'm not that desperate. After about 45 minutes of waiting we finally reached the front. $20 to get in. Gag. That's all of my cash.

I waited in line to go to the bathroom and K took my ATM card to get out more cash for the cab back. $10 ATM fee. Shit!

After roughly 20 minutes of waiting in the bathroom line I searched for K for another 20 minutes. People were spilling beer on me, bumping into me, and stepping on my toes. All around me people were taking bottom-shelf shots and screaming like animals. There was barely any room to move and I had had enough. I wanted out. NOW!

After another $10 ATM fee, I was on the street looking for a cab. Apparently cab drivers won't take groups smaller than 8. What?? I was waiting on the street for 30 minutes before I finally convinced a driver to take me home.

"I've been standing out here forever, I'm by myself, what am I supposed to do?"

"I can't take less than 8, it's an 8 person cab."

"How much is it gonna cost to take one?"

Eighty dollars. I can't say I don't feel incredibly guilty for spending this money. But what other choices were there? I'll earn it back. But it definitely sucks.

I got to the house early at 3am and went right to sleep. Everyone else stumbled home around 4:30am and 5am and ate everything in sight. Of course, the house is only stocked with junk food like chips and boxed cookies. The next morning there were crumbs everywhere. Beer had been spilled on almost every surface of the once-clean home, and I was out a significant amount of money.

Good news is the sun was shining and K and I were able to lay out for a bit and go for a walk while the other partiers began drinking and playing beer pong at 10am. She told me she felt too old to be there too and we went home that evening. I don't know what she'll do with her summer share. Knowing her, she'll be fine and continue to enjoy herself.

My idea of a vacation isn't drinking for 20 hours of the day. I don't want to eat junk food, and be hung over, and stay out until 5 in the morning. I don't want to make my weekend goals to get as drunk as possible and to hook up with whoever is willing. I don't want to go back to work feeling even more exhausted than I did the week before. I don't want to drink a 5 Hour Energy just to be able to stay awake.

My ideal Hamptons weekend? I'd like to rent a cozy place with a small group of friends. Go for walks, lay on the beach, poke in the town shops. Maybe go out for a nice meal or cook something healthy. Have a bottle of wine. And just relax. Now THAT'S a vacation.

Am I alone on this?