When your ex gets engaged

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

This does not happen everyday. And it has happened to a very good friend of mine more than once. So what is the typical reaction when your ex gets engaged?

My friend (we'll call her Christie) has had a few different reactions:

"Whatever, I don't care. I broke up with him."
"He called me last night and we talked for an hour! I wonder if she knows that..."
"I think maybe I made a huge mistake by breaking up with him."
"WTF now he's super rich AND good looking? ....Fuck."
"Maybe one day he'll realize we were meant to be."

"Christie, that was years ago, you know you're happier now."


When this happened to her yet again, her response was somewhat different:

"Oh my god, John's engaged to that crazy bitch! What the hell is he thinking?"
"She made him delete me from facebook, wtf???"
"He was the best guy I ever dated."

Needless to say, I think that no matter when you dated, and no matter how you broke up, an engagement comes as somewhat as a shock. Yes, I think I can use shock as a way to describe my entire morning.

I strolled into work at my usual time, got my coffee, ordered a breakfast sandwich. Then things got hectic: I got pulled away to help train the new receptionist, the vault guy needed help, I had to fill people in about what happened at the office last night, and before I knew it it was 11am and I hadn't checked my email yet!

I checked my work email....then my personal email....then meandered over to facebook....and OMG WTF M's ENGAGED?!?

Literally it was the first thing I saw on my news feed. I couldn't believe it! So soon? So young? What's going on? Ahhh!

Let me note that I have had this reaction to almost all of the engagements/pregnancies that pop up on facebook. With each day that I get older, someone is getting married or knocked up! And the better I know the person, the weirder it is. 24? That's too young to be married/pregnant/divorced/dead! Am I right? Girls I was once very close to in high school have thus far been the most shocking...until today.

M and I didn't have the best breakup, but I definitely don't have romantic feelings for him now. I've always been happy for him and his "new" girlfriend. She looks very sweet: short, brunette, the girl next door type...the opposite of me really, which I've often thought it funny.

But it definitely made me think. What if I hadn't broken up with him? What if that was me? What if I was still in Arizona? He's been dating her ever since we broke up but I've been pretty much...single. Does this mean I'm behind? How different would my life be?

Reflecting back to our end, he really wanted a relationship, and I just felt trapped, like I needed to get out, needed fresh air. Obviously, we wanted different things, and I think we both got what we were after. He has the fiance in Arizona he so longed for, and I have my freedom in New York. In the end, we are both happy, and I am very happy for him. But part of me is exhaling thinking, "thank god that isn't me!"


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