So glasses guy. He seemed innocent enough. Wearing a suit (he's a lawyer in Midtown) + a point. Nerdy (we talked about Star Wars online) + 2 points. Decent pick of place + 1/2 a point. Jerky attitude? Minus 2 million points.
It all started to go downhill when I met him outside and realized that he's a geek, not a nerd. If you have any confusion as to the difference, feel free to read about it here. He seemed nervous and kept assuring me that he thought it would be warmer and we could sit outside, and he didn't know about the place, blah blah. The rest of the date can be best summarized in dialogue.
Jerk: "So are you a vegetarian because of animal rights, health, environment, religion...?"
Me: "All of them....."
Jerk: "RELIGION?!"
Me: "No, all but religion."
Jerk: "Is it going to bother you if I eat meat?"
Me: "No, no, of course not."
Jerk: "Ok. Because I would only do it for environmental reasons."
Me: "Well I read this book about animal cruelty and I just couldn't eat meat again-"
Jerk: "Oh, I've seen all those videos but I don't really care."
Silence.
Ok....maybe I'll try to find something else to talk to this guy about.
Me: "I was going to email you this funny article I read about the Death Star today. It talked about all the weapons aboard and how many people would be needed to man it and the different levels it would have-"
He leans across the table towards me, looks me right in the eyes, and says, "I don't really think Star Wars could have happened..."
Me: "I wasn't trying to say it could, just that the article was really funny-"
Jerk: "Well, I think it will always be a mark of the twentieth century, but I in no way think it's possible."
Silence.
Me: "So are you close with your family?"
Jerk: "Not really. They live in Germany. They want me to visit more, but this year I didn't even go home for Christmas."
Later.
Jerk: "So what do you do?"
Me: "I edit commercials."
Jerk: "Oh, like what?"
Me: "Do you watch tv?"
Jerk: "Ya..."
Me: "Have you seen ____ commercial? Or _____?"
Jerk: "I don't care about commercials, I fast-forward them."
Me: "Well, we all do. But I bet you watch the Superbowl commercials!"
Jerk: "Ya, do you?"
Me: "The Oscars are my Superbowl."
Jerk: "So do you like...pay attention to who wins editing and stuff like that?"
Me: "Well, ya..."
Jerk: "Because people like me, we don't care about that stuff; it's pretty boring for us."
Fifteen minutes later:
Jerk: "Well I have to meet my brother so..."
Me: "Ya I should get going."
Outside the restaurant:
Jerk: "Good luck."
So, in conclusion, that was a pretty bad date. Now even the geeks are getting jerky? I took myself off of the dating site this week. My friends at work have decided to stay on it. As for me? I have decided to try to look at the world in a different way. I'll take out my headphones, put down my kindle, and try to smile more (I'm horrible at this). Maybe the real world is the better option?
...or maybe it's just New York.
upDATE
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Once again, I would like to point out how bizarre it is that my blog has turned into a dating blog. I think the reason for this is because I was originally blogging about trying to figure out my career, and now I have one. Everything at work is going really well. I love everyone I work with and I feel lucky to work at this company. So...there's nothing really to say on that front. I suppose the most interesting thing about my life are these terrible dates I continue to go on. If you are enjoying reading it, I suggest you check out TwentySomethingDating which has become one of my favorite blogs about dating. Anyway, onto my story.
The guy who I fell in front of (twice) texted my two weeks after the date and explained that he hadn't asked me out again because he met someone else and things had progressed quickly, but that he would still hold onto my number in case that didn't work out because he found me intriguing. Ya, like that will happen.
Tonight I have a date that I really don't want to go to with a guy called "glasses guy." I'm not holding my breath- he wants to go to a dive bar. Can't they come up with some originality??
In other news, my friend H and I have been walking the loop in the park (6 miles!) every Sunday which is great because there are all these pink and white flowers blooming and people are starting to show their legs! It's wonderful! In just over a month H and I are going to California to visit my family. H has never been before and I'm excited to show her around. It will be nice to get away from the city for a bit and have a vacation. Anyways, that's all for now. I'll keep you posted.
Dating in New York. Who knew it would be such torture?
The guy who I fell in front of (twice) texted my two weeks after the date and explained that he hadn't asked me out again because he met someone else and things had progressed quickly, but that he would still hold onto my number in case that didn't work out because he found me intriguing. Ya, like that will happen.
Tonight I have a date that I really don't want to go to with a guy called "glasses guy." I'm not holding my breath- he wants to go to a dive bar. Can't they come up with some originality??
In other news, my friend H and I have been walking the loop in the park (6 miles!) every Sunday which is great because there are all these pink and white flowers blooming and people are starting to show their legs! It's wonderful! In just over a month H and I are going to California to visit my family. H has never been before and I'm excited to show her around. It will be nice to get away from the city for a bit and have a vacation. Anyways, that's all for now. I'll keep you posted.
Dating in New York. Who knew it would be such torture?
What NOT to do on a date.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
I'd like to tell you all about my most recent humiliation. It happened to me on Saturday night and I still wince every time I think of it, which seems to be a lot.
I met "Ashton Kutcher Guy" aka. AKG at 675 Bar below Dos Caminos in the Meatpacking. I walked down the stairs and through the door at about five till eight. I was most definitely the only living soul there. And 675 Bar is most definitely a club. After what seemed to take hours, the bartender finally emerged with my Kettle One martini and it was not long until I met AKG. He was quick to tell me he had never been to the bar either. Ok, good...I'm not one to go clubbing!
After the initial awkwardness the two of us fell into good conversation. I switched to beer to avoid becoming the drink girl on the first date (nobody wants that!). We watched people filter into the bar dressed to the nines and discussed who was looking to hook up with whom. After a while we drifted into the foosball room where I kicked his ass at the game a handful of times. Go me!
At this point it was nearing midnight and we made our way back into the main room which had become a club. People were dancing. Girls were trying to be super sexy. AKG and I had our own moves and we made fun of everyone else. We really were having a great time. I looked to my left and who did I see? K was there dancing her butt off! We ended up hanging out with her and her friends for a while but by the time 1am rolled along I was starving. Note to self: never go on a date without eating beforehand!
This next bit gets tricky: I was wearing booties with a heel-but nothing crazy; I wear them to work all day. I had also, obviously, been drinking, but I was in complete control and was not acting like a sloppy fool or anything. What happened next was really unfortunate.
We were walking up the stairs from the club and I fell. Hard! It was so embarrassing! He was completely nice and made me feel better about it, but as I walked into the next bar (which was fully packed, by the way), I fell again! There was a puddle of water on the floor. It was completely mortifying. Honestly, it was one of the worst moments in my personal dating history. But, I kept my head up and ordered my veggie burger. He texted me the next day and asked to see me again. Why? I'm not sure. I was certain he was going to write me off as a crazy drunk girl, but he didn't.
Note to self: Next time, wear flats.
I met "Ashton Kutcher Guy" aka. AKG at 675 Bar below Dos Caminos in the Meatpacking. I walked down the stairs and through the door at about five till eight. I was most definitely the only living soul there. And 675 Bar is most definitely a club. After what seemed to take hours, the bartender finally emerged with my Kettle One martini and it was not long until I met AKG. He was quick to tell me he had never been to the bar either. Ok, good...I'm not one to go clubbing!
After the initial awkwardness the two of us fell into good conversation. I switched to beer to avoid becoming the drink girl on the first date (nobody wants that!). We watched people filter into the bar dressed to the nines and discussed who was looking to hook up with whom. After a while we drifted into the foosball room where I kicked his ass at the game a handful of times. Go me!
At this point it was nearing midnight and we made our way back into the main room which had become a club. People were dancing. Girls were trying to be super sexy. AKG and I had our own moves and we made fun of everyone else. We really were having a great time. I looked to my left and who did I see? K was there dancing her butt off! We ended up hanging out with her and her friends for a while but by the time 1am rolled along I was starving. Note to self: never go on a date without eating beforehand!
This next bit gets tricky: I was wearing booties with a heel-but nothing crazy; I wear them to work all day. I had also, obviously, been drinking, but I was in complete control and was not acting like a sloppy fool or anything. What happened next was really unfortunate.
We were walking up the stairs from the club and I fell. Hard! It was so embarrassing! He was completely nice and made me feel better about it, but as I walked into the next bar (which was fully packed, by the way), I fell again! There was a puddle of water on the floor. It was completely mortifying. Honestly, it was one of the worst moments in my personal dating history. But, I kept my head up and ordered my veggie burger. He texted me the next day and asked to see me again. Why? I'm not sure. I was certain he was going to write me off as a crazy drunk girl, but he didn't.
Note to self: Next time, wear flats.
TRX is NOT for Sissies
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
My weekend in Virginia was fantastic. I drank great wine, ate great food, relaxed....well, I relaxed and worked my butt off! My aunt goes to a personal trainer on Saturday mornings and she brought me along with her and signed me up for a TRX class. My options were spinning (which I find to be excessively boring), zumba (dancing around? ....something harder please), and TRX cross training. So I picked cross training. Can't be all that different from a Jillian Michaels work out video right?
At 9am on Saturday morning it was just me and two other people in the class; a man and a woman, both much older than me. Psf, I got this! Our class instructor gave us a cycle of exercises to do five times.
5 rolly-ab move things
10 push ups
10 pull ups (from the TRX rope)
15 kettle bell.....swings?
5 times
No problem, I do these moves anyway, I can do this. What I failed to consider was the fact that I have almost no upper body strength and that I'm very competitive. Also, since there were just three of us, the instructor was able to stare at us the entire time- very uncomfortable.
It started out ok. I was feeling confident. I was even doing the full push ups! But quickly, things went downhill. The other woman was somehow a cycle ahead of me and I got to the point (on my knees!) during push ups that I could go down...but I just couldn't...come back up! Needless to say it's been five days and I'm still in pain. But that's ok. I'm inspired to push harder and work out more often!
More updates on that later.
At 9am on Saturday morning it was just me and two other people in the class; a man and a woman, both much older than me. Psf, I got this! Our class instructor gave us a cycle of exercises to do five times.
5 rolly-ab move things
10 push ups
10 pull ups (from the TRX rope)
15 kettle bell.....swings?
5 times
No problem, I do these moves anyway, I can do this. What I failed to consider was the fact that I have almost no upper body strength and that I'm very competitive. Also, since there were just three of us, the instructor was able to stare at us the entire time- very uncomfortable.
It started out ok. I was feeling confident. I was even doing the full push ups! But quickly, things went downhill. The other woman was somehow a cycle ahead of me and I got to the point (on my knees!) during push ups that I could go down...but I just couldn't...come back up! Needless to say it's been five days and I'm still in pain. But that's ok. I'm inspired to push harder and work out more often!
More updates on that later.
The Ego Guy
Friday, February 17, 2012
I'm on a train. My very first Amtrack train experience. Some like it hot? Maybe...a little bit.
After working until at least 9 at night every night for the past three weeks on a greuling project, I'm looking forward to my weekend away at my aunt's. Being at her house is like being home, and I think some relaxing time is well deserved. Three day weekend, here I come!
The entire Amtrack system is really interesting. Essentially you just have to be there ten minutes before your train leaves and show your ticket and you're good to go. Cool- that was easy.
For the first half of the trip I sat next to an Coast Guard alumni. He talked briefly about how difficult it was and how he wouldn't change anything. One thing which I have yet to mention in previous blogs is the difference between west coast people and east coast people. There are many noticeable subtleties which can be observed on a daily basis, but one that I find fascinating is the differing view points of the military, navy, marine corps, what have you.
West Coast view: Military? Isn't that what people do when they don't want to go to college?
East Coast view: There are many different types of ways to serve your country: government, military, Coast Guard, Naval Academy, Airforce, Marine Corps.
I can't wrap my heard around it! My cousin is in the Naval Academy and that is the only reason I know anything about it. Apparently being in the Naval Academy means you are really smart and will be some sort of officer which, I gather, is a highly coveted role. There are football matches between...Naval colleges(?) and the entire east coast (outside of New York) seems to be really into them.
I'm digressing. What I was going to talk about was the "Ego Guy." I've met him before, many times. He is the reason I avoid bars and clubs, and largely the reason I think I'm judgmental of men upon first meeting.
Of course, he is the type I am initially attracted to (and I'm sure many other girls are too!) He dresses well: dark jeans, nice shirt, tailored jacket. Well groomed. Nice watch on his left wrist, the perfect amount of masculine product in his hair. Looking at this guy next to me, I notice that he has a fresher manicure than I do, which may or may not be really pathetic on either one of our ends. While pausing in between chapters of my book, he strikes up a conversation with me. My eyes immediately fly to the silver band on his left ring finger, and I question his motives. Are married men allowed to strike up conversation with young strangers on the train? I did notice that he sat next to me even though the two seats to his left were empty.
Immediately he jumped into talking about his start up company, and the other company he sold, and the funding he has for this company, and his actress friend in Hollywood, and his film friend in New York, and his huge property in the country with a large estate and his new apartment in Baltimore. Mmmmmkkkk.
See this is the thing guys. No girl wants you to ramble on about all your achievements and start name-dropping on first meeting. Yes, we want you to have these qualities, but do you have to be so cocky about them? My number one turn off is cockiness, yet it seems the world is full of them. But, I should add, on the other side of the spectrum are the shy, lazy, doing-nothing-with-their-lives kind of guys that are equally grotesque, yet which are more difficult to decipher because their quietness and awkward company might be endearing.
Is there no one with the perfect amount of balance in between these two extremes? Oh ya, they are all taken.
Has my blog turned into a dating blog? God help me. I promise to report on interesting non-guy happenings in the very near future.
Who's excited for the Oscars next weekend?!
After working until at least 9 at night every night for the past three weeks on a greuling project, I'm looking forward to my weekend away at my aunt's. Being at her house is like being home, and I think some relaxing time is well deserved. Three day weekend, here I come!
The entire Amtrack system is really interesting. Essentially you just have to be there ten minutes before your train leaves and show your ticket and you're good to go. Cool- that was easy.
For the first half of the trip I sat next to an Coast Guard alumni. He talked briefly about how difficult it was and how he wouldn't change anything. One thing which I have yet to mention in previous blogs is the difference between west coast people and east coast people. There are many noticeable subtleties which can be observed on a daily basis, but one that I find fascinating is the differing view points of the military, navy, marine corps, what have you.
West Coast view: Military? Isn't that what people do when they don't want to go to college?
East Coast view: There are many different types of ways to serve your country: government, military, Coast Guard, Naval Academy, Airforce, Marine Corps.
I can't wrap my heard around it! My cousin is in the Naval Academy and that is the only reason I know anything about it. Apparently being in the Naval Academy means you are really smart and will be some sort of officer which, I gather, is a highly coveted role. There are football matches between...Naval colleges(?) and the entire east coast (outside of New York) seems to be really into them.
I'm digressing. What I was going to talk about was the "Ego Guy." I've met him before, many times. He is the reason I avoid bars and clubs, and largely the reason I think I'm judgmental of men upon first meeting.
Of course, he is the type I am initially attracted to (and I'm sure many other girls are too!) He dresses well: dark jeans, nice shirt, tailored jacket. Well groomed. Nice watch on his left wrist, the perfect amount of masculine product in his hair. Looking at this guy next to me, I notice that he has a fresher manicure than I do, which may or may not be really pathetic on either one of our ends. While pausing in between chapters of my book, he strikes up a conversation with me. My eyes immediately fly to the silver band on his left ring finger, and I question his motives. Are married men allowed to strike up conversation with young strangers on the train? I did notice that he sat next to me even though the two seats to his left were empty.
Immediately he jumped into talking about his start up company, and the other company he sold, and the funding he has for this company, and his actress friend in Hollywood, and his film friend in New York, and his huge property in the country with a large estate and his new apartment in Baltimore. Mmmmmkkkk.
See this is the thing guys. No girl wants you to ramble on about all your achievements and start name-dropping on first meeting. Yes, we want you to have these qualities, but do you have to be so cocky about them? My number one turn off is cockiness, yet it seems the world is full of them. But, I should add, on the other side of the spectrum are the shy, lazy, doing-nothing-with-their-lives kind of guys that are equally grotesque, yet which are more difficult to decipher because their quietness and awkward company might be endearing.
Is there no one with the perfect amount of balance in between these two extremes? Oh ya, they are all taken.
Has my blog turned into a dating blog? God help me. I promise to report on interesting non-guy happenings in the very near future.
Who's excited for the Oscars next weekend?!
Whine and wine.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Here's my whine (and this relates very much so to my last post): In the past month I have now had two separate guys send me messages asking about the brunette in my picture. Specifics below:
Guy #1: May I humbly ask who the stunning brunette in your picture is?
Guy #2: The brunette in your picture is really hot and has a great rack, something you should aspire to. Can I have her number? (Her boobs are not real.)
So, not only is Valentine's Day one week from yesterday and I have to come to terms with the fact that I have zero plans, but now complete strangers are hurting my feelings? What has the world come to?!
Obviously, I didn't reply to either asshole. I didn't want to lower myself or continue a meaningless conversation with a meaningless jerk who would likely just make me feel worse. Why would someone write those things to someone anyway?
What I'm telling my friends: "Whatever guys, they were just jerks, I don't care."
How I really feel: Fat, ugly, boring, and pretty insignificant.
How I will nix those negative emotions: Wine. And perhaps the latest Gossip Girl. (And crying myself to sleep!)
Guy #1: May I humbly ask who the stunning brunette in your picture is?
Guy #2: The brunette in your picture is really hot and has a great rack, something you should aspire to. Can I have her number? (Her boobs are not real.)
So, not only is Valentine's Day one week from yesterday and I have to come to terms with the fact that I have zero plans, but now complete strangers are hurting my feelings? What has the world come to?!
Obviously, I didn't reply to either asshole. I didn't want to lower myself or continue a meaningless conversation with a meaningless jerk who would likely just make me feel worse. Why would someone write those things to someone anyway?
What I'm telling my friends: "Whatever guys, they were just jerks, I don't care."
How I really feel: Fat, ugly, boring, and pretty insignificant.
How I will nix those negative emotions: Wine. And perhaps the latest Gossip Girl. (And crying myself to sleep!)
A Single Girl in New York
Thursday, February 2, 2012
I was thinking that this might be a more appropriate name to change my blog to. It makes a lot of sense. Valentine's day is approaching and my "date" (my friend H) will likely be doing something with the new guy she's dating, therefore my plans thus far consist of watching movies whilst eating copious amounts of chocolate and drinking at least one bottle of wine. I know I will enjoy that!
Yes, all us single girls know that Valentine's day, like Halloween, was invented by the candy companies to help sell chocolate. And to make single women (not men) feel bad. And I would have to say that I wouldn't be here complaining to you today (this is very Bridget Jones of me) if I didn't read a brutally honest article written by a New York city guy yesterday.
He makes a very good point. In New York, single women outnumber single men by 210,000. Why should a guy settle? He could meet his "dream girl" at Whole Foods on a Saturday morning and then run into an even better version of her that afternoon at the Union Square market. For every attractive, smart, funny single girl there are a hundred just like her. And yet we all want to be special and find the right guy, right? We all have great jobs, are stunningly gorgeous, have top-tier IQ's, and could give Tina Fey a run for her money in the humor department. Well, perhaps that's an exaggeration. But what's stopping a guy from hooking up with any girl he wants? Nothing, because if one girl can't give him what he's looking for there are ten more right behind her. The minute a guy decides he wants a relationship, he'll have no trouble finding one. Devastating, but true.
From Freshman year of high school until about Junior year of college I had a date almost every Valentine's day. It's just the past few years that I've been undeniably single, and that's ok, I'll make due. At least I have the memories of what it's like to receive chocolate and flowers on V day. I actually still have some "kiss kiss bears" in my childhood closet. But this year, I'll be buying the chocolate myself. Hell, I might even buy myself some roses for my room, because, well, why not?
Yes, all us single girls know that Valentine's day, like Halloween, was invented by the candy companies to help sell chocolate. And to make single women (not men) feel bad. And I would have to say that I wouldn't be here complaining to you today (this is very Bridget Jones of me) if I didn't read a brutally honest article written by a New York city guy yesterday.
He makes a very good point. In New York, single women outnumber single men by 210,000. Why should a guy settle? He could meet his "dream girl" at Whole Foods on a Saturday morning and then run into an even better version of her that afternoon at the Union Square market. For every attractive, smart, funny single girl there are a hundred just like her. And yet we all want to be special and find the right guy, right? We all have great jobs, are stunningly gorgeous, have top-tier IQ's, and could give Tina Fey a run for her money in the humor department. Well, perhaps that's an exaggeration. But what's stopping a guy from hooking up with any girl he wants? Nothing, because if one girl can't give him what he's looking for there are ten more right behind her. The minute a guy decides he wants a relationship, he'll have no trouble finding one. Devastating, but true.
From Freshman year of high school until about Junior year of college I had a date almost every Valentine's day. It's just the past few years that I've been undeniably single, and that's ok, I'll make due. At least I have the memories of what it's like to receive chocolate and flowers on V day. I actually still have some "kiss kiss bears" in my childhood closet. But this year, I'll be buying the chocolate myself. Hell, I might even buy myself some roses for my room, because, well, why not?
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