Glasses? No, no, Jerk.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

So glasses guy. He seemed innocent enough. Wearing a suit (he's a lawyer in Midtown) + a point. Nerdy (we talked about Star Wars online) + 2 points. Decent pick of place + 1/2 a point. Jerky attitude? Minus 2 million points.

It all started to go downhill when I met him outside and realized that he's a geek, not a nerd. If you have any confusion as to the difference, feel free to read about it here. He seemed nervous and kept assuring me that he thought it would be warmer and we could sit outside, and he didn't know about the place, blah blah. The rest of the date can be best summarized in dialogue.

Jerk: "So are you a vegetarian because of animal rights, health, environment, religion...?"
Me: "All of them....."
Jerk: "RELIGION?!"
Me: "No, all but religion."
Jerk: "Is it going to bother you if I eat meat?"
Me: "No, no, of course not."
Jerk: "Ok. Because I would only do it for environmental reasons."
Me: "Well I read this book about animal cruelty and I just couldn't eat meat again-"
Jerk: "Oh, I've seen all those videos but I don't really care."


Ok....maybe I'll try to find something else to talk to this guy about.

Me: "I was going to email you this funny article I read about the Death Star today. It talked about all the weapons aboard and how many people would be needed to man it and the different levels it would have-"

He leans across the table towards me, looks me right in the eyes, and says, "I don't really think Star Wars could have happened..."
Me: "I wasn't trying to say it could, just that the article was really funny-"
Jerk: "Well, I think it will always be a mark of the twentieth century, but I in no way think it's possible."


Me: "So are you close with your family?"
Jerk: "Not really. They live in Germany. They want me to visit more, but this year I didn't even go home for Christmas."


Jerk: "So what do you do?"
Me: "I edit commercials."
Jerk: "Oh, like what?"
Me: "Do you watch tv?"
Jerk: "Ya..."
Me: "Have you seen ____ commercial? Or _____?"
Jerk: "I don't care about commercials, I fast-forward them."
Me: "Well, we all do. But I bet you watch the Superbowl commercials!"
Jerk: "Ya, do you?"
Me: "The Oscars are my Superbowl."
Jerk: "So do you attention to who wins editing and stuff like that?"
Me: "Well, ya..."
Jerk: "Because people like me, we don't care about that stuff; it's pretty boring for us."

Fifteen minutes later:

Jerk: "Well I have to meet my brother so..."
Me: "Ya I should get going."

Outside the restaurant:

Jerk: "Good luck."

So, in conclusion, that was a pretty bad date. Now even the geeks are getting jerky? I took myself off of the dating site this week. My friends at work have decided to stay on it. As for me? I have decided to try to look at the world in a different way. I'll take out my headphones, put down my kindle, and try to smile more (I'm horrible at this). Maybe the real world is the better option?

...or maybe it's just New York.


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