A new leaf

So its January 16th and I'm back in the city. Christmas went really well- it was great to be home and see my family. I got to see Sara's grave and say goodbye to Gracie. So sad that the two of them had to get old at the same time. The three weeks I spent at home were relaxing. I knew I had a job to come back to, which was great.

One thing that I worked on while at home was my wardrobe. As my mom said, I've lived the past five years in the desert in a college town. My "look" was not exactly up to date nor very adult. So my mom and I spent a few days shopping for basic and more grown up pieces. Now, I remember shopping in high school was fun. I would go to the mall and spend an entire day there. But not this time. I have to wonder, what kind of world do we live in when one can wear FIVE different sizes? That's right. Depending on the store and cut of a garment, I can wear anything from a size 2 to a size 10. I, obviously, feel much happier when able to fit into the smaller size, but who wouldn't. Another frustrating thing about shopping? The top half of my body is a different size from the lower half. This makes it fun to try on dresses. And don't even get me started on the skirts. I must have tried on 50. And I am so sick of seeing skirts that are too tight in the butt and too small in the waist. Really, shopping is an awesome confidence booster, especially with fluorescent lighting and three way mirrors. But, despite my frustrations, we were able to find some great pieces for good prices. Even so, I don't even want to think about how much money I did spend. But I never shop for anything so I don't feel that guilty.

Flash forward to the city. By the first week of January, I had already given A, my landlord, my month's notice. So...we had to be out by February. Let me tell you, apartment hunting in New York is one of the most stressful, difficult things I've ever done. We saw tons of apartments. There was the 3 bedroom in the East Village for $2,700 a month that was the size of a small storage space. It was really dirty, had no closets, and smelled like a soiled cardboard box. There was the place on the Upper East side for $1,750 that had one decent sized room and one closet sized room. So many things have to be taken into consideration when apartment hunting. Space, location, commute, price, closets, dishwasher...etc. By the end of the first week I knew I wasn't going to find my dream apartment. At least not while my salary is so low. A major problem was, K and I have different wants. She doesn't care about space; for her it is all about location. I was more interested in space, and location and space don't go hand in hand. We did find a huge place in Park Slope, Brooklyn for which we put down a deposit. But at the last minute K decided she didn't want that apartment. I understand. We came here to live in the city, and there's something about being outside of Manhattan that both of us find a little unnerving. The problem is, we really wanted time to think about our decision and make sure it's the right one. But in New York, you have to walk in and decide if you and the apartment on the spot. If you don't apply for it right away someone else will, which is what happened to us with the affordable hell's kitchen apartment. We saw it during lunch this past Wednesday. We told the broker we would meet him at 7pm to put down a deposit and give him our paperwork. Before we could meet with him, however, someone else had applied. Lucky for us, their application fell through and we did end up getting the apartment finally! It was coming down to the wire and I don't like not knowing where I'm going to live in fifteen days. So yesterday we finalized everything and got our keys.

K and I were on the subway last week and she made a very good point. Finding a good apartment is like finding a good boyfriend. Sometimes they look great on the outside but once inside you discover how disappointing they really are. Some have qualities you really like, but are lacking in other equally important areas. And no matter how hard you look you are never quite satisfied with what you find. But, no matter how disappointing the apartment is, its nice to know its waiting for you at the end of the day.

So the next step is moving. Blegh. The good news is my mom is flying out on Friday to help me with the move. Thank god, because if she wasn't I really have no idea how I would go about this. I have no furniture or anything, so shes driving up some of my grandpa's stuff. And she'll also help me decorate. I really don't know how we're going to make this apartment work. It has a really funky layout and is really tiny. But I'm sure we'll figure it out. So that's what the next two weeks will be dedicated to: moving. Cleaning, hauling, lifting, organizing. I really look forward to being settled and having my own room! And a kitchen. But especially my own room.

When I first came to New York I made a list of things I wanted to accomplish.

Find a job. Check!
Find an apartment. Check!
Reinvent my style. Check!

I'm trying to decide what my next goal will be. I think one will be to go out more. Try to be more social. I can tell that K is frustrated with me for being such a homebody. She says I'm going to look back on my twenties and regret it. Sometimes I feel that way. And I understand what she's saying. But it's very crappy to go out when it's 10 degrees outside. And sometimes when I'm out I just wish I was at home watching a movie. I hate getting dressed up and then feeling disappointed. Or being tired or hungover the next day. Or checking my balance to reveal how much money I've actually spent. But, I'm going to try and put in more effort to go out.

Any suggestions of what my next big goal should be? A promotion perhaps? Or maybe that would be moving a little too fast?