My thought on babies

Monday, April 11, 2011

It's well known to most people who know me that I don't want children. I don't like children. I like having my freedom and being able to do what I want to do when I want to do it. I like that I can sleep in as long as I want on the weekends and that I don't have to get up to feed a screaming child. I like that my apartment stays (mostly) clean and how I left it. I like that I don't have the added expense for feeding, clothing, and raising a child. I like that I don't have to buy new clothes for myself due to increasing spit up stains or an expanding waistline. I don't want to gain weight due to pregnancy. I don't want my feet to swell up so big that I need to buy new shoes even post-pregnancy and I don't want to get poked with needles every few months. I especially don't want to go through the whole birthing process, natural or cesarean.

Beyond these things I don't even like children. When at a restaurant it's incredibly annoying to have something screaming next to your ears. Or on planes when they stick their head above the seat in front of you and just stare at you. I hate that. I suppose I can also say I don't like irresponsible parents or parents who believe their children can do no wrong, an increasing population of people in today's world. I know it's not the kid's fault, bla bla bla, but I don't like them. I find that they get in the way on crowded streets and make situations which might be otherwise perfectly pleasant completely awful- like brunch in Manhattan- a time for eggs and champagne, not tippy cups and diapers. Aside from this the world is overpopulated and the earth is clearly suffering the consequences of so many humans.

Now, setting aside my aforementioned rants, I don't talk to people who have children about why I don't like them. I don't lecture people about having too many, nor do I impose my "anti-child" views on any expecting parents or friends of mine who I believe to be too young to procreate. So why do people find it necessary to disagree with what I want? Is it so absolutely natural that everyone bring a screaming little "angel" into the world? Should I be shunned for my choice to not have children? I find that when people ask me how many kids I want and my reply is "none" they tend to look at me as though I was a freak of nature- especially older adults. I don't pass my judgment (openly) on those that have children, why should others blatantly reject my decision?

This brings me to another point. When at a social event where babies will be present, I try my best to avoid them. I always put on a "show" for those around me when I do come in close contact. I smile at them, tell the mother how "beautiful" the baby is, and uphold certain expected social norms. At events such as these, there always seems to be a reason for a mother to hand over her child to someone else to hold. Generally I would have to say that this doesn't happen to men as much as it does to women (don't even get me started on the sexism issues here), and, on occasion, I have been left as the primary "watcher" of such a toddler. Why do people feel they have the need to leave their child with someone else? Every time I've ever been asked to hold one I always politely decline, but then people just think I'm afraid I'm going to hurt the child. They would be right- I am afraid I'm going to hurt the child....just on purpose. I don't want to touch one lest I get their spit, throw up, urine, feces, or whatever else on me.

Sure, some of you will berate me for this, but I think I bring up some pretty valid points. And in the end I suppose all this rant has done is make me feel better, though I hope to have enlightened a few of you with an outlook which strays from the social norm, and perhaps next time someone tells you they don't want kids, you will think a little better of them.


Emily said...

I know how you feel! I like children, but I do not want any. I don't want to ever experience the birth process or pregnancy at all. I also can't imagine that I'd make a very good mother... Nannies are all fine and good, but I think people would look down on me for hiring them haha.
Totally know what you mean, girl! x

NYgirl3 said...

Good to know someone commiserates with me!

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