M&Ms: The Battle

One of the benefits of working in post production is that there is a lot of free food. Free lunch everyday, free dinner if you work overtime, and free snacks.

One of the downsides of working in post production is that there is a lot of free food. Unhealthy, fatty, sugary, loaded-with-high fructose corn syrup- kinda food. While I'm not one to crave the salty snacks available (cheez-its, potato chips, and chex mix do nothing for me) I do so badly crave sugar. Specifically the jar of M&Ms that tempt me with each passing.

The jar itself is see-through, allowing one to see it's contents perfectly displayed, like a magical swirling rainbow of chocolaty delight! From within their glass prison, the tiny drops call to me, "please eat me! I'm so tasty! You Will know stress no more once you've had a handful!"

This jar is also equipped with a lid. I swear no matter where I am in the building I can hear this lid being lifted, a kind reminder that they are there waiting for me.

I like to have them at 3pm. Just a few hours after lunch. I wait for the clock to hit 3 and I know, that part of the day has come!

I eat them with tea. English or black with a drop of milk, preferably. My mouth is warm and the chocolates melt faster- the best thing ever! I'm very particular with my M&Ms, as everyone at the office knows. I like to divide them into their colors- blue and green are my favorite. I then line them into triangles by color, with all of the m's facing the right way. One by one, I eat them down until I have equal amounts of all of them. At this point, I eat one of each color, evenly, until they are all gone. So satisfying.

What isn't so satisfying is that the jar is always there, and once I have a few, I always, without a doubt, want more. There is no lock. The jar doesn't require quarters, nor does it dispense in small amounts. It's all up to me to exercise self control. You can guess how well that goes.

About a month ago, I somehow quit the habit. I stood staring at them- the glittering, delicious bastards, but chose their neighbors, the nuts, instead. For four weeks I avoided their pleading gazes, until they gave up on me altogether and my cravings for them were no longer there. I was feeling very proud.

But then, a relapse. Last week I was so stressed out with the bed bugs, apartment hunting, and work worries, that I completely caved. I said to myself, "you're having an awful week. AND it's your birthday week. Go ahead, have some."

I quickly finished off the last of the plain m&ms by the end of the week. No!! My addiction is back! Everything I had worked towards-gone!

This morning I wasn't going to have any. Then I had 5. But I plan to put a stop to this! I'm eating nuts and drinking tea and downing water to avoid them. I will perservere....right?

Words of encouragement appreciated.